CALLING YOU OUT!: RAPID FIRE

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!

There are just too many people to call out only one person today. I haven’t written this column in over two weeks and I’ve got a great big bowl of hate to distribute. Here’s who should grab a spoon:

The University of Kentucky – Remember back when UK had a coaching staff that was winning the SEC seemingly every other year, taking the team to Final Fours and even winning a National Championship? It seems like it was just yesterday…

Close. It was actually just last year, and the coach’s name was Tubby Smith. Smith, after averaging 26 wins a year, taking the Wildcats to 10 NCAA tournaments in 10 years, winning five conference regular season titles, five conference tournament titles and one national title, was forced out in favor of Billy Gillispie. Gillispie so far has led the ‘cats to a 6-6 start, including losses to Gardner Webb, UAB, Houston, and San Diego. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like their chances this Saturday against arch-rival Louisville. Conference play hasn’t even started yet, and Billy has turned UK from a perennial tournament competitor to a team on the bubble.

And don’t even get me started on their football team, for losing me money by not being able to cover the spread against a Florida State team missing 36 PLAYERS! Disgraceful.

The University of Hawaii – That little pregame dance they do is cute and all, but it loses its luster when they get destroyed in the actual football game that follows it.

What an embarrassment. I cannot believe that they tricked me. All year I talked about how much of a joke this team was and how they were getting fat on a gimmicky offense and terrible opponents forced to fly halfway around the world to play them in the middle of the night. Then they beat Boise State and for some reason I became a believer. Well, I’ll never make that same mistake again. What that Georgia defense did to Colt Brennan (who I still think will be a good mid-level NFL draft pick) was criminal.

Bob Stoops – Speaking of making the same mistake again, is there a team that is consistently more unprepared for its bowl game that the Oklahoma Sooners? Holy crap, that was a boat-race in the Fiesta Bowl. I know that defense is optional in the Big 12, but those WVU running backs and wideouts were running past those OU defenders like they were standing still. Mountaineer FB Owen Schmitt is as tough as they come, and can play for my football team any day, but for the love of god, he should not be flying through your secondary for 60 yard TD runs.

How you can lose four straight BCS bowls (two blowouts and two upsets, including the infamous Boise State game) yet are the first name on everyone’s lips whenever a coaching job opens up is beyond me. Laughable.

Big Ten Haters – For the eight millionth time: Ohio State lost to Florida because Florida was better. They did not lose to Florida because Big Ten teams can’t compete with “SEC speed.” Michigan had no trouble with the “SEC speed” as they were flying up and down the field and hanging 41 on Florida in the Capital One Bowl. And if Wisconsin hadn’t mismanaged the end of the…whatever bowl that was they were playing in against Tennessee (As I previously mentioned, I hate bowls, so I do not care to look it up) then the Big Ten would have been 2-0 against the “speedy” SEC. Ohio State might lose Monday. They might lose by 50. But it won’t be because of a lack of speed.