CALLING YOU OUT! - THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!

In this edition - The San Diego Chargers win and screw it up for the rest of us!

Immediately following the University of Arizona's upset win over Oregon last November, Pac-10 football fans everywhere directed their ire towards the Wildcats. Thanks, they said, for winning that game and killing the conference's chances of sending a representative to the BCS Championship Game. At the time, Oregon was a dominant team, carrying the flag for the entire conference, and giving them a chance to take home a BCS title for the first time since Leinart and Bush took out Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl. Then the November 15 upset happened, and all those hopes were dashed.

That win meant so little to the 5-7 'Cats, they weren't going anywhere and had no conceivable chance of winning anything, but the loss that meant so much to the Ducks, as it completely derailed their title hopes. Now I, and Patriots haters everywhere know how they felt.

Thanks Chargers. Thanks a lot for beating the only team that had any, remote, outside chance of going into Foxboro and beating the Patriots. Thanks guys. Thanks to Darren Sproles, for being so goddamn fast, and running through the Indianapolis defense like crap through a goose. Thanks to Norv Turner, he of the nearly 20 games under .500 coaching record, who was suddenly able to beat one of the great coaches of our era. And thanks to Billy Volek for engineering a fourth quarter go-ahead touchdown drive as if he were Joe F-ing Montana.

The Chargers, or whatever is left of them after their second-stringers just knocked off the Colts, have absolutely no chance to beat the Patriots, and whomever comes out of the NFC might have even less of a chance to do so. So thanks to San Diego, the next three weeks are completely meaningless and will simply serve as a coronation for the Pats as they take their place on the throne atop the football world.

So you might as well get mentally prepared, because in 20 days, Bill Belichick will once again hoist the Lombardi Trophy, Tom Brady will give a smug, self-congratulatory postgame presser, Randy Moss will hurl passive-aggressive barbs at the media for questioning his character, Junior Seau will retire (again), NFL analysts will gush over this team, and millions of obnoxious New Englanders will revel in another professional sports championship. (Incidentally, once the Celtics win it all this summer, they will hold all three major sports championships. Those fans were insufferable when their teams sucked, whats life going to be like then??)

In the words of Mike Gundy, it makes me wanna puke.