FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: BREAKING NEWS: FLETCH LIVES!

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

In other shocking news, water is still wet!

That sentiment should be echoed throughout Toronto tomorrow after the Maple Leafs made the most well-known managerial move in recent memory official today by axing John Ferguson Jr. and replacing him with Cliff Fletcher.

Yep, you read that right. The Leafs brought back someone who has been there before. Shocking isn't it? Allow me to set the early line for Pat Burns being the coach of the Leafs next season at 9:2. Admittedly, that's a little high. The Leafs have been clinging to the '92-'93 season since the '92-'93 season, so why wouldn't they reunite the two men responsible for them getting there? God I hate the Leafs!

JFJ needs to be at home right now counting his blessing. At least he is finally out of the circle jerk that is Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment (MLSE). I mean, everyone has known this was coming for a good, solid month now, so finally knowing that you can sleep in tomorrow morning without penalty has got to be a great feeling.

On the Leafs side of things, this is a typical Toronto move. Aside from doing the whole recycling thing by bringing in Fletcher, the Leafs have once again neglected to make the move that most needed to be made, as Richard Peddie, the meddlesome President of MLSE who let it slip last month that JFJ was goign bye-bye, continues to be employed. Yes Ferguson signed the contracts and made the trades, but as Peddie has made clear all along, nothing is done without board approval and he is top of the board.

As for Fletcher, it's hard to be critical of a man who is in the Hall of Fame, except that Clark Gillies and Bernie Federko are in the Hall of Fame...

Fletcher was a great hockey mind, but the key word there is was. Whether he still has it at age 96 remains to be seen. You would have to wonder how important a consultant he was in Phoenix if they were ready to part with him a month ago so he could squeeze in a Mexican Vacation with the wife before assuming his new 19-month position. I mean, it's not like the words "Phoenix" and "Hockey Powerhouse" have ever been synonymous.

While Fletcher did pull off the Doug Gilmour for Garry Leeman Coup that brought "Killer" to Toronto, remember that he also sent a talent young left winger named Hull to St. Louis with a jobber named Buzek for a defenseman (Rob Ramage) and a veteran backup goalie (Rick Wamsley).

The big plus for Fletcher is his relationship with Captain Mats Sundin, whom he brought to Toronto in 1994. Not only could their close bond make dealing the playmaking Swede at the Deadline a little easier, but it could also lead to that NHL trend that is becoming all-too-familiar these days when one team ships out a proven player for youngsters at the Deadline only to re-sign the same player during the summer (see: Tkachuk, Keith).

When all the smoke clears and the media circus that is the Toronto Maple Leafs and Toronto Sports Media settles down around these recent events, one thing will be painfully obvious:

At the end of the day, nothing has changed. The Leafs still stink!