Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: STUPID SPORTS SH!T: SUPER BOWL VIDEO EDITION


by Chris Richardson, Intentional Foul

"We're not here to cause no trouble, we're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle." Such were the words of genius uttered by the 1985 Chicago Bears, who was probably the best modern team before this year's Patriots took the field.

In honor of this week's Giants/Pats match-up, I'm going to take a look at some things like the "Super Bowl Shuffle" and some other videos in the vein of what Jim "Superbad" McMahon provided. Wouldn't you love to see the Patriots and the Giants do something similar? I know I would... can't you just see Tom Brady with mirrored sunglasses saying something like, "I'm the funky QB that goes by Brady, when I hit the field all the ladies go crazy..."

Of course you would. Anyway, on with the stupid shit:

The Super Bowl Shuffle
Yes, this is probably the most famous of all the team-related music videos and rightfully so. The planning and execution displayed here is borderline genius and should be acknowledged as such. The style, sophistication and class on display here has NEVER been matched by any other musical performance... except for maybe the 84 49ers, but I'll get to that in a moment.

On a serious note, it is nice to see Sweetness do his thing here. Too bad Ditka let Refrigerator Perry take Payton's rushing touchdown... You know, because Super Bowls are such commonplace occurrences. Again, I'm not sure if the genius on display here has ever been matched, except, by this maybe:

The 1984 San Francisco 49ers Can Bring It Too
This little ditty actually preceded the Bears' brilliance and helped pave the way for an era of music videos that died entirely too soon, as you will see. Words cannot describe what you are about to see, so just sit back and enjoy it:

At the 1:32 mark on the above video, Jerry Rice comes in and demonstrates he had other talents to fall back on if that receiver thing ever died out on him. Unfortunately for us, that never happened so we won't know just how great a rapper he would've been.

Bonus: Ronnie Lott. Rapping. That's all that needs to be said.

Rule No. 1: Before Making A Super Bowl vid, Get to the Super Bowl
Just ask the 86 Raiders, who delivered this upcoming gem. The thing that stands out to me is Howie Long's portion. Just what the hell is going on here? Who knew? Anyway, you have to admire the production value here, but before you make such a song, perhaps you should wait until you are a little closer to your goal...

If I was Fox, I would use Howie's portion to lead into their NFL Pregame show. Every time. You just don't get quality like this anymore and that's why I'm putting out a call for the winner of SB 42 to bring this trend back. It is a moral imperative that these types of songs do not flicker out like a candle's flame. These must live on.

Again, how many of you wouldn't jump at the opportunity to see Eli rapping about being the Giants QB and perhaps even being funky about it? I know all you would, so don't try to lie. Anyway, this is good stopping point for me, but before I go, I'll leave you with one of the best Super Bowl commercials ever. And by best, I mean "hottest."

YEAAAAAAAAAH!!! And on that note, I'll see you next week.

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