THROWING KNIVES: ALMOST LOST A TV AND ALL-STAR STUFF

by BD, Staff Writer

I'll be honest I've got nothing to big (not that I usually do) or interesting to talk about today. That is, you know, unless you want to talk about how I almost threw a remote at my television yesterday morning. A television that I spent a mighty chunk on last December and would have been really pissed about breaking. Seeing as warranties don't cover intentional flying projectiles. Not that I know of anyhow. Yeah sure let's start with that, briefly though.

I sat down yesterday morning as I do every morning after work and quickly began hurling expletives at my picture box. For only one reason of course. That reason? The "BREAKING NEWS" that scrolled across the bottom of the screen at the 4-letter network. It read something to the effect of "Tom Brady seen limping outside his house." Wait... really people? After all the whining and so on the 4-letter folks did about Arod's stripper bit because he shouldn't be followed like that, we now have this. I wanted to stab my cat. And I really like my cat. Am I the only person who just doesn't give a shit? I know they need something to talk about, but the whole foot issue's been beaten to death by now, don't you think? I'm sure many NY reporters were disappointed when they didn't catch a man quickly exiting Eli's house that same morning. Now onto the subject...

At the end of last week I put together my NBA All-Star starting lineups real quick. Well, I've decided to exorcise my mulligan clause (your right, I don't even have a contract). To be honest though I may put together the starters exactly the same. I'm too lazy to look at exactly what I had last week. Today though I'll also tack on my reserves. Decided I should go-ahead and get this done before the official list comes out. That is, after they snub Joe Johnson and Gerald Wallace. The latter being far more understandable. Given his team.

Keep in mind the below is based mostly on statistics. Though, those on abhorrently bad teams will be penalized (i.e. Wade won't make this ballot).

Western Conference (Actual Starter*)

Starters
PG - Chris Paul
You absolutely cannot argue with either he or Nash here. I'll take Paul as working with far less in New Orleans.
SG - Kobe Bryant*
Having another good year averaging 28 PPG.
SF - Carmelo Anthony*
Nice to see his first appearance will come in the starting lineup. His 25.5 PPG backs up the fan vote.
PF - Carlos Boozer
I hate Boozer because he was a Dukie, but you can't argue with 22.5 and 11 boards a night.
C - Amare Stoudamire
His attitude pisses me off, but because Kaman's team falls into the aforementioned category he gets the nod.

Reserves
G - Steve Nash
Easy.
G - Brandon Roy
I really think he HAS to be there. He's the biggest reason for the Blazers quick rise off the doormat.
F - Tim Duncan*
Easy, I just felt like Boozer should start.
F - Dirk Nowitzki
You almost have to put him on. But for me it was close.
C - Yao Ming*
I really want to toss in Tyson Chandler (and Camby) here, but the difference are just too big between he and Yao.
WC - Baron Davis
The force that drives Golden State and his numbers are sick on top of it (20 PPG, 8+ AST and almost 5 boards).
WC - Allen Iverson*
He barely edges out Deron Williams here. They're virtually even in every stat across the boars but one: points. And the gap is sizable. Thus, AI gets the edge.

Out West it turns out the fans got five deserving guys into the game. That's certainly not the case on the other side.

Eastern Conference (Actual Starter*)

Starters
PG - Chauncey Billups
You can't really argue with this. He's the catalyst for one of the East's top teams and he leads all PG's in scoring while placing 4th in assists.
SG - Joe Johnson
His team's in the playoffs (for now) and though Rip is stiff competition JJ get's the nod and his first all-star trip.
SF - LeBron James*
Yeah, can't argue even a little.
PF - Kevin Garnett*
This one you can argue a little, but the close competitors are are worse and far worse teams.
C - Dwight Howard*
No contest.

Reserves
G - Richard Hamilton
The picture of consistency with a sweet midrange jumper.
G - Caron Butler
While not actually a guard he can play it and the forward slot is jam packed.
F - Antwan Jamison
Getting the job done at both ends and holding onto the ball as well as anyone (1.7 TO)
F - Paul Pierce
You just can't argue with 20-5-5, but I still think he's the weak link in Boston's Three-party.
C - Chris Bosh
He's listed as F/C at Yahoo! so it works. Otherwise someone else has to go as he should be a lock.
WC - Gerald Wallace
He does absolutely everything. His team's not good, but their 2 games out of 8th place and I wouldn't lump them in with Miami and New York.
WC - Josh Smith
Absolutely fills up the stats sheet like Wallace. That gives him the slightest of edges over Hedo Turkoglu.

Their are some obvious snubs here and moving Butler to guard is a tough sell, but Kidd was the only other guard close and as he's quit on his team he doesn't deserve to be there.