THROWING KNIVES: CONFLICTED I AM

by BD, Staff Writer

Being Lions fan every year I pick a team to root for once the regular season comes to a close. This year that team is one I've hated for as long as I can remember, the New York Giants. I hate the Giants for a number of reasons, most notably because of the place they hail from. I hate every New York team like a good Midwesterner should. These days however, I also hate all of New England as well. Given my anti-NY feeling you're probably wondering: Why the Giants? It's simple really, I also hate the Cowboys so they're out. I obviously hate Favre and his Packers as a Lions fan. But what really pushed me toward the Giants this year was just how unlikely a Super Bowl run would be. On top of that my friends were all over Favre's unit the last few weeks. Spouting things like "I wanna see Favre get there" and "I'd be awesome to see Favre win it again!" I scoffed at this as my fellow Lions fans performed verbal fellatio on what should be their sworn enemy.

Coming into this week I held strong for the Giants, but also became conflicted at the possibility of a New York-Boston Super Bowl. Something generally less appealing than an hour's worth of kidney punches at the hands of Kimbo Slice. So here I am today, ready to root for the Giants in the Super Bowl while simultaneously hoping Cloverfield breaks out all over the east coast this week.

It's sad really, knowing the only two places I truly hate are all that's left of this NFL season. But as a Lions fan watching other teams play meaningful games is all I really know. It's become a requirement of Lions fandom to root for other teams when it really matters. Even occasionally rooting against my Lions if it means a divisional foe will miss the postseason.

Who to root for two weeks from now though? The Pats? Just to say I seen 19-0 happen. Or do I stick with the Giants? Just to Eli can tease Peyton he got there faster. It really is a tough call. So I won't go making it just yet, but it will be made and you'll know it when I've done it. Hell, I'll even explain my decision when the time comes.

About Tony Dungy...
Why does anyone really give a shit? Is it because of his religious beliefs and that book I'll never read? It's certainly not because he's a "nice guy," or at least it shouldn't be. You know why? Because if he wasn't coaching football he'd be trying to to hand you a Bible form your porch at 9 A.M. on a Tuesday. And nobody likes those people. No matter how nice they might be with a different profession.

One Final Thought
Does it get any better than Gunner Favre showing up and costing his team the game? Not for a Packer hater it doesn't. That is, unless Megan Fox is comin' a knockin' today.