TOP 11 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR THE 2008 OAKLAND A'S

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

After going 76-86 and finishing 18 games out in the AL West in 2007, the Oakland A's have announced their intention to have no meaningful chance to compete in 2008 by trading away Dan Haren and Nick Swisher for minor league players.
What, you don't believe me? Believe them, then.

"I got off the plane from the winter meetings; I said to David, 'Who are we kidding?' We can't let hope be our strategy here. That's what we're doing. ... We can't waste another year. If this needs to be done, it needs to be done... This whole winter we’ve been gauging the health of our club. We were injured last year. When we got into the winter, we weren’t optimistic it was going to be any different. If we stayed status quo, we weren’t going anywhere anyway. I looked at the club and at best we’d be a 72-to-81 (win) team.” - A's GM Billy Beane

The team averaged 23,726 fans per game in 2007. That was 26th in MLB, with crowds of less than 6K common for mid-week games against lower-tier opponents. The salary of $25,388,825 is 29th (next to last) in MLB, and less money than the Yankees will pay one player, Alex Rodriguez, in 2008.

So how are they planning to attract fans in 2008? (Well, as slogan number six shows, that's really not a concern, assuming they don't sign Barry Bonds to attract rubberneckers.) Besides, the team is great at Marketing!

11. You'll Always Remember The Half Dozen Foul Balls You Are Very Likely To Catch

10. All The Fun Of Minor League Baseball, Plus The Visiting Team

9. See Tomorrow's Stars For Other Teams Today

8. Ample Parking Available

7. We Still Have Billy Beane, And He'll Be Serving Up Hot Dogs In Section 317, The All You Can Eat Upper Deck

6. The Guaranteed Profit That We're Going To Make From Over $30 Million In 2008 Revenue Sharing Dollars, Without Winning A Single Game Or Selling A Single Ticket, Is Being Put To Good Use, Honest

5. Playing To No More Than 25% Capacity Means Plenty of Room To Spread Out And Get Comfy

4. Now With 80% Less Noise

3. From Connie Mack to Charlie Finley and Beyond -- A Tradition of Fire Sales, Like No Other

2. The Home Away From Home For Yankee, Red Sox and Giants Fans

1. Now Warming Up In The Oakland Bullpen - YOU!