Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 12 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BECOMING AN OLD AND CRANKY SPORTS BLOGGER


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

12. You remember when American Gladiators was really all about the gladiating

11. You find yourself mildly interested in which geezer act will play the halftime show at the Super Bowl (huh, Tom Petty... well, I guess he's better than Paul McCartney)...

10. All of these NFL teams don't run the ball enough for you, and no one knows how to tackle, dagnabbbit

9. You start having a hard time getting up for work after night games, because you never stay up that late anymore

8. You wonder what they do to keep the grass green in January, and if you can use the same products on your lawn

7. You remember when Al Davis struck fear in the hearts of opposing NFL teams because his moves were canny

6. Your porn is old school -- very old school (NSFW Silent Age of Movies Poon)

5. You think USFL merchandise is retro-cool instead of unknown-dork

4. You pick backhanded passive-aggressive fights with crappy sports blogs just to see if they'll notice and comment

3. You write in the same formula, day after day, while wondering why everyone else resorts to titty and video clips

2. You read the work of horrible wankers at mainstream sports sites just to give yourself a rise of righteous bile

1. Not only do you hate ESPN's "Who's Now," you don't even know anyone who doesn't hate it

5 comment(s):

Big Al said...

Get out of my brain!!!

Sooze said...

Get off my frickin lawn, Shooter!

Mac G said...

I would add that the world does not need HD porn. VHS tapes still work wonders.

Anonymous said...

"Who's Now" has been off the air for months.


DMtShooter said...

It's also coming back, since it was a big hit for them. In other news, I enjoy posting the same thing on multiple blogs.

Source: Some crappy sports blog

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