Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: WHERE HAVE YOU GONE TURK WENDELL? OH, THERE YOU ARE


by T, TheAngryT

When I think average 90’s middle relievers, my mind is invariably drawn to Turk Wendell. Since he retired, I have spent many sleepless nights imagining what the mercurial former reliever might be doing with his life. Did he join the Green Berets and use his cannon arm to hurl grenades at America’s enemies? Was he a guacho, stirring up trouble in Argentina’s Patagonia region? Did he go into hiding, develop advanced martial arts skill, and hunt and kill noted anti-Semite Bobby Fischer? All of these options would have satisfied even my wildest hopes and dreams for Turk, but as the saying goes, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Welcome to Wykota Ranch, better known as the “The Redneck Country Club,” (not to be confused with my favorite song, Redneck Yacht Club) run by owner and proprietor Turk Wendell.

(below from site, with misspellings)

Wykota Ranch is a very unique operation, one of the most unique in all of North America. Here at Wykota Ranch we not only do things the Sportmen & Ethical way, we do it the "Redneck" way to insure you get the most out of your hunting experience. So that when you do finally leave here you not only can't wait to come back, but you carry with you memories that will last a lifetime. Our motto here is "fire no warning shots, shoot to kill !!"

Our main headquarters speaks for itself, the original homested of 1898 has been redone with shiny hardwood floors, you would think it was built in the year 2000!

The bunk house (hunters quarters), was originally built in 1930, but it too has been restored to a modern yet rustic, how the West was won look!

I guess it better than committing crimes after you are done playing, or simply following the crowd and going into the booth or to the bench. (I am talking to you John Kruk and Glen Allen Hill) I am kind of concerned about his love of exclamation points, for shits sake he uses one in 60 percent of his sentences in those two paragraphs. I tend to agree with his shoot to kill philosophy though; Don’t pull that piece out unless you are prepared to drop bodies (I learned that from my urban friends on The Wire).

For the three people that look for my column every week, I promise to offer an equally entertaining story on what former reliever Darren Holmes has been up to since he retired. SPOILER ALERT: It has something to do with Insurance Sales.

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