24 HOURS ON HARDWOOD 2.20.08

by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm

And we're back from the All-Star break. If you were wondering how it was? Wet. Drunken. Much like New Orleans of old, only with a lot more features on the messed up stuff that happened after Katrina and a lot more cops. Also, Mark Cuban's pretty cool. And by "pretty cool" we mean "often drunk."

Here's what happened in the last 24 hours in the NBA:

Our Long National Annoyance Is Over: "J-Kidd is a Mav." That's the email Cuban sent to ESPN. Literally. After constantly talking about not disrupting the team's chemistry, about how the contracts would be too hard to move, in the end, the triple-double machine was too much of a lure. The Mavs gave up Devin Harris, DeSagna Diop, Trenton Hassell, Keith Van Horn (yeah, him), 2 draft picks, some other guy I can't remember, and a partridge in a pear tree to go along with two of Cuban's harem. The Year of Setting Fire To Your Longterm Prosperity Continues.

Would You Mind Not Shooting At The Thermonuclear Spanish Forward Center?: So I'm at the gym, minding my own business, running to Arcade Fire, when a score comes up on the television, or "telly" as the Brits call it. It says, Halftime: Hawks 37, Lakers 73. Thanks a lot, Atlanta. You and your genius trade for Mike Bibby (5 points, 3 assists, 4 turnovers) almost killed me. Nice job. Pau Gasol and Kobe both had 23 in the win, and lookee lookee. The Lakers are a game back of the top spot in the West. No pressure, guys.

Love Potion #9: Get out your shovels. It's time to dig up Houston. Because they're not dead yet. The Rockets polished off LeBron for their 9th win in a row, 93-85. James had a triples double, and it still wasn't enough to overcome the balanced Houston attack led by Rafer Alston's 22 points. I'll let you read that again and let it sneak in. Remember to breathe. ... Okay. Luis Scola had 15 and 8, as he inches his way for rookie of the year runner-up status.

World's Saddest Sentence Competition: See if you can pick out the saddest sentence in the following: Knicks' Randolph throws water at diminutive Nate Robinson and starts fight during Knicks timeout. Robinson responds by throwing towel back. The game featured 9 total fast break points. The fight happened inside of the minute with the Knicks in a dogfight with the
sixth seed in the East, Washington. The Knicks then proceeded to go out and score a record 23 points in the five minute overtime to beat the Wizards. Tough to pick just one, isn't it?

Elsewhere: Rasheed blocked Superman several times, but it didn't matter when the Pistons couldn't hit anything and Rashard Lewis was on fire, Magic win 103-85. We might want to find out who pissed in Deron Williams' Wheaties (29 poins, 12 Assists), and tell them never to do it again, Jazz roll 119-109. D-League All-Star Game MVP Jeremy Richardson scored 8 points in 8 minutes in the loss to the Lakers. Sactown got 24 from Crazy Pills and 23 from Francisco Garcia off the bench to knock off the Blazers.