by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm
Pssst! Here's a secret! Don't tell anybody! There's actually a... get this... National Basketball Association. The twisted part? They actually played on Super Bowl Sunday! So here's what went down while you were getting drunk and screaming like a maniac, even though you don't give a shit about the Giants. Here's what happened in the last 24 Hours in the NBA...
Later, He Was Quoted As Saying "Holy Shit, I Get To PLAY With These Guys?": Pau Gasol showed up for the Lakers game against the Wizards, though was unable to play, basically due to all the jumping up and down and dousing himself in champagne when he found out he got traded to LA. Oh, and the masturbating. That probably wore him out, too. Kobe decided to welcome him to the crew by giving him a little blueprint of how things work on Kobe's team. Bryant scored 30, including 19 in the first compared to Washington's 15, and led the rejuvenated Lakers to a 103-91 win over the Wizards. The Wizards got 15 from Caron Butler who returned to the club after a series of maladies, but he and Antawn Jamison's 21 points and 11 rebounds weren't enough to overcome the Lakers, who pretty much killed them from start to finish. Gasol is expected to join the club for their next game on Tuesday, and get some sweet Hollywood tail in the meantime.
Put This In Your Little General And Smoke It:There are days when the Pistons look ordinary. Unenthusiastic, lackluster, bored, really. They look like they work in an office, and process project reports like the rest of us instead of being paid millions of dollars to travel the world, taste the finer things in life, be paid millions of dollars, all for playing basketball. Sunday was not one of those days. Sunday was one of those days when Rasheed Wallace decides he's going to eat your soul, and the rest of the team decides to flex it's defensive muscles. One of those days where they decide to combine defensive intensity with offensive explosiveness. In the case of this particular Sunday, all over the Mavericks' face. Sheed pulled in 21 and 9, along with 4 blocks and led the Pistons to a 90-67 win. It was the lowest offensive output by the Mavericks this season. The Mavs were led by Howard and Nowitski, who each scored 15, and Brandon Bass' 14, the only other double-digit performance by a Maverick. Which should tell you a little bit about how far the Pistons shoved their boot up the Mavericks' ass.
It's Funny, He's Not Getting The Press He Was A Few Days Ago: Damon Stoudamire was officially signed by the San Antonio Spurs, in yet another example of how Los Angeles has a distinctly innate ability to overshadow anything San Antonio does, even if San Antonio is decidedly closer to a championship.
by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm