24 HOURS ON THE HARDWOOD: 2.5.08

by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm

Hell Hath No Fury Like Like The Mavericks After Getting Their Ass Handed To Them: Note to self: Do not play Dallas Mavericks the day after they get the shit kicked out of them on national television. Dallas came out of the gates against Orlando, went back, blew the gates off, picked up the gates, beat the crap out of the Magic with the gates, then set fire to the gates and made the Magic eat them. Dallas led from beginning to end in a 107-98 win in Orlando. Dirk had 20 and 9, Terry had 20, and Josh Howard led the Mavs with 28 points, 7 rebounds and 3 assists. Strangely enough, Dwight Howard also scored 28 points, also had 7 rebounds, also had 3 assists, and also very badly wanted Dirk Nowitzki to cut that mane of his.

Now Would Be An Opportune Moment To Point Out That The Jazz Are Gonna Get You, Sucka: You remember when the Hornets were unstoppable? Yeah, that was fun. Utah, winners of 9 straight and currently the 4th seed in the West smoked the Hornets by 22, behind Deron Williams' 29 points, 11 assists. The Hornets have dropped 3 straight, and look completely lost all of a sudden. Boozer tossed in 19 points and 17 rebounds. Jannero Pargo led the Hornets with 24. That's a bad sign, if you can't tell.

Oh, Hey, What's Up? Yeah, I'm Still The Answer, Thanks: Allen Iverson hit the game winner with less than a second on the clock in overtime, then traveled back in time just to watch himself hit that shot and masturbate to give the Nuggs a 105-103 win over the Portland Trailblazers who's trail is not quite as blazing as it once was. Brandon Roy led the Blazers with 26, 7, and 8, while the Lithuanian sensation, Linas Kleiza added 15 for the Nuggets. Portland is now 4-6 in its last 10.

If Only Games Ended After A Half: The Suns came out sluggish, fell behind to the Bobcats, led by only 3 at the half, then in the second half, whipped out the threekkake on the way to a 118-104 win. Raja Bell had 7 three pointers for the Suns, who shot 44% from the arc. The Bobcats, who were without G-Force Gerald Wallace and any real sense of hope for now or the future, were led by Jason Richardson with 25. Their bench, much like my mojo Freshman year of college, was non-existant.

We'll Spot You 15, Cool?: The Sixers went on a 15-0 run in the first quarter. They led 32-14. Then Josh Smith did the happy dance all over their mothers. Smith had 9 blocks to go with 19 points and 9 assists to carry the Hawks (Ka-kaw!) to a 96-91 win. Andre Miller led the Sixers with 29 points and 4 turnovers. The Hawks celebrated with a bitchin' Pizza Hut party that Josh Childress' mom threw afterwords. Only, not at all.

These Things Will Not Shock You: The Heat, Knicks, Timberwolves, and Sonics all lost to middle of the road teams. Which is easy when you're a "left of the road, drowning in your own feces in the gutter" team.