Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: DEAR SI

DEAR SI

by , SimonOnSports

Dear Sports Illustrated,

Hey guys. Wonderful job on the Swimsuit catalog this week. It was hot like Brett Favre's Jock. If I didn't have pictures of Brett Favre in a bathing suit already, I would have used it for my jerk off material this week. But alas I have those pics. And during that session, that's when it hit me. I have some great ideas for the swimsuit edition.

1. Brett Favre - Just put Brett Favre in a Speedo. You know how many men would be turned on by that?

2. Photo Shoot with me and Heidi Klum - Will Ferrell Maybe funny, but how good is he at Monday Morning Quarterbacking. And what relevence does he have to SI. As an 18 year vet I think people want to see me rubbing oils on Heidi Klum.

3. Photo Shoots at the Inside the NFL Set - They're tearing it down no one will be there. You can have hot nasty photographs of Brett Favre there.

4. Photos of Every Model in an NFL Jersey - They're mesh, you can almost see through them. Preferably every one of them should be in a Brett Favre jersey.

1. Inject Models with HGH - The models are hot, but HGH will certainly make them hotter. My favorite swimsuit pic of all time, outside of Favre's, was Deb Clemens. Abs of steal.

2. Manning Shoot - Who needs girls when you have three sexy quarterbacks. They can just wear double stuff oreos. That would certainly get me off.

3. Woman in Starbucks - Remember that sweet Marissa Ipod shoot last year. Now replace the Ipod with Starbucks uber grande cups.

4. Me In a Swimsuit on the Cover - You have the sexiest football analyst in the business on staff. Why not flaunt him on the cover?

Aren't those great ideas. Next years edition is going to be the best and sexiest ever.

Thanks Guys,
Peter King

P.S. If you're wondering why I have two lists of 4, it's because I refused to count to numbers greater than Favre's jersey #.

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