by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo woo woo
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Days of innocence long gone?
In another relatively calm week before the Super Bowl, Congress began taking depositions in the Clemens affair, the very public media-driven feud featuring Roger Clemens and his allies, versus former trainer Brian McNamee, and his cronies. This time it's congressional.
Clemens's agents, the Hendricks Brothers released a rather detailed statistical defense of the Rocket. The report compared the Rocket's illustrious career to other great pitchers including Curt Schilling, Nolan Ryan, and Randy Johnson: all these hurlers pitched into and ripe old age. Countering charges that Clemens revitalized his faltering Red Sox career by using PEDs, the monograph points out that a pitcher's Won-Loss record might not indicate his level of performance in a particular year. Many factors enter into a pitchers won-loss record including his performance and the run producing power of his offensive teammates. Thus, Clemens's revitalization does not need a 'roided explanation.
This statistical argument while interesting, may not save Clemens from a Congressional battering. Hearings started this week, initiating with a New York representative of the Hendricks, mentioned above -- Jim Murray. McNamee claims Murray took notes during a meeting discussing the 2003 steroids MLB dry-run testing vis a vis Clemens's exposure to testing positive.
Chuck Knoblauch took a fundamental step forward when he delivered his Congressional testimony on Friday. Knoblauch refused to throw the ball to first, and likewise to reveal his testimony.
On deck this week, Andy Pettitte, and Kirk Radomski await their turns at bat. McNamee's attorneys say that Pettitte should corroborate part of McNamee's claims of a Clemens's juicing.
Clemens meanwhile injected his gluteus into an Astro's mincamp; ignorance continues to be bliss.
Up the road from Houston, law enforcement agents arrested a University of Mississippi QB recruit with charges of steroid Selling steroids is not likely what Junior Achievement programs had in mind for pre-business students.
We end the week with a New York Times piece on heroes, say like Roger Clemens:
Today, in a culture blessed with Botox, steroids, sophisticated plastic surgery and digital retouching techniques, Sylvester Stallone at 61 can play the same hypertrophied action hero, John Rambo, he first interpreted in 1982.
CARY GRANT was 62 years old when he retired from the movies, having decided he was too old to continue playing romantic leads. But that was more than 40 years ago.
Sound familiar? Old guys taking hormonal drugs to stave off the assault of the youngsters whose time apparently needs to be postponed. Such is modern times. Where did you go indeed, Joe DiMaggio?
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