TOP 10 RADICAL ENVIROMENTAL SCHEMES TO MAKE SPORTS MORE EARTH-FRIENDLY

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Replace stadium lighting with CFC bulbs that are motion-sensitive, so that the part of the field that isn't occupied isn't lit

9. Half-price "freegan" concession stands

8. Discounted seats for "Gerbil Fans", who generate electricity for the lights through bicycle-style pedals in the seats

7. Many more things made out of "hemp" -- glorious, glorious hemp

6. '80s power forward and hair oil enthusiast Michael Cage's head repatriated into the ground

5. More -- if not all -- games played in daylight hours

4. "Sun showers" in the locker rooms

3. Instead of teams chartering jets to road games, they use massive tandem bicycles

2. Recyled cups, both beverage and, um, elsewhere

1. Composting of players who get released (possible pay per view event)