Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 REASONS BARRY BONDS MIGHT PLAY IN JAPAN


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

"He's not retiring," Bonds' agent, Jeff Borris, told Metro yesterday. "He intends to play somewhere. If a door doesn't open for Barry in the major leagues, as unbelievable as that possibility sounds, then Japan certainly is an option." (h/t Deadspin and Metro News.ca)
10. It's as close to a pennant race as he'd get if he signed with Tampa Bay, Oakland, or any other MLB team that would have anything to do with him

9. Every time the yen's value goes up against the dollar, his shriveled nads feel a spark of life

8. It's a golden opportunity to make everyone over there forget all about Bob Horner

7. Wants to piss off Sadaharu Oh as much as he did Hank Aaron

6. Excited by the challenge of infuriating and alienating a whole new group of sports reporters

5. He can play for the Giants over there, too, and unlike the Giants in America, they're not a hopeless last-place team (yet)

4. Determined to steal the thunder of Lew Ford signing with Hanshin

3. Now that mercury contamination in whales is causing a drop in hunting, it's much safer for him to go there

2. Being out of the country when facing federal grand jury charges of perjury is, well, kind of... intriguing

1. As the following clip shows, on many levels, it is his destiny... and YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR MIND!

1 comment(s):

blogger said...

No, no, no, guys....

Barry Bonds and the Tampa Bay Rays are "a match made in .... somewhere.....!!!!!!

Hey, we had the story nailed down weeks ago on THE BARRY BONDS TRIAL BLOG.

Go for it Barry readers...


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