Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 11 REASONS WHY WRIGLEY FIELD CAN'T CHANGE ITS NAME


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

11. Because, as the video shows, you don't really want to see wht Cub Fan is capable of when provoked

10. Unmatched legacy of success

9. If the name is changed, every man, woman and child will have to refer to it by its new corporate name, or risk imprisonment

8. The rules by which every other economic decision is made just can not apply to Cubs fans, who have a delicate condition and constitution

7. It would make a bazillionaire happy, and that just can't happen

6. Drawing out the inevitable sell-out makes for more easy blog grist, especially during the winter lull

5. No other corporate allusion makes as much sense to Cub personnel moves as cheap chewing gum

4. More revenue for the Cubs means even more money for Carlos Zambrano's upcoming hope-crushing surgeries

3. Without an old-time name, people might notice that the place is actually a very overrated place to see a game, if only because so many of the frat boy fans use it as an open-air urinal

2. After becoming the official chewing gum of the NBA, Wrigley would have to raise the price of a pack of gum to $5 to cover the two-sport commitment, and the price hike could be the last thing that sends this country spiraling into an economic Depression

1, Because Cub Fan fears change and the future... because, in the future, they probably still don't have a ring

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