WHAT TO EXPECT ON SUPER SUNDAY

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

If you are like me, and have lived through several Super Sundays in your day, then you go into the day pretty much knowing exactly what to expect. So far, nothing that has happend in Super Bowl Week that has been any different than any of the last 15 or 20 Super Bowl Weeks, which gives me reason to believe that I can pretty much predict how Sunday will go, and be dead-on.

So consider this your little handy guide to the Super Sunday festivities, but also take this as a spoiler alert! Everything that I am about to describe will happen on Sunday, so if you want to be surprised, please do not read on. We'll check back to see how we did on Monday.

The pregame coverage will be interminable - Honestly, I'm not joking here: "Fox Super Sunday"-- which, as best as I can tell from the description, is a show that will somehow relate football to politics-- begins the Super Bowl related shows at 10:00 am eastern! That is more that 8 hours of pregame programming! The Fox NFL Sunday show will begin at 2:00 pm and go right up to kickoff. Give Terry Bradshaw and the rest of those idiots one hour and 14 games to talk about, and its a train-wreck. How the hell are they going fill four hours talking about only one game? If there is a "red carpet" show with Ryan Seacrest, or if the crew of the "Best Damn Sports Show Period" make an appearance, I am seriously going to vomit.

The announcers will talk way too much about Tom Brady's ankle - I have already heard enough about his ankle to make me sick to my stomach, and its only Friday. As just outlined, the networks have several hours of Sunday pregame airtime to fill (and God knows 90% of the time they aren't very insightful or original), so they will take the nugget that TMZ.com gave them when the blog posted that photo of him in the boot, and run like hell with it. Every one of Tom Brady's dropbacks will be analyzed, every step will be scrutinized, every bad throw will be questioned and attributed to his bad ankle. Its going to be awful.

The man is fine. His ankle is fine. And if he can sprain his ankle, throw three interceptions, have the worst playoff game of his life, and they can still win comfortably by two scores, then maybe we should start to give some of Brady's teammates some credit, and not lazily proclaim that the success or failure of a team rests on the status of one player's sprained ankle.

The commercials are going to be disappointing - The days of the Super Bowl being the best day for advertisments has long past. Not only are the commercials likely not going to be funny, but unless there is another ad featuring two guys kissing, They probably won't even be noteworthy.

There will be some car ads, there will be some Bud and Bud Light ads that may give you a smile and a chuckle, but the days of the Super Bowl ads being the talk around the water cooler the next day are over.

The halftime show is going to be awkward - Maybe I'm biased because I hate halftime shows, but I'm thinking this one is going to be eight different kinds of terrible. Its going to feature a 57 year-old man, who hasn't been relevant in years (I'm sorry if you are a Tom Petty fan, but its true) dancing and singing on stage and singing 20 year-old songs, while tens of thousands of teenagers, who probably have no earthly idea who Tom Petty is, dance around on the field like they are having the time of their lives. Do they think we don't all know those kids are being paid to bop around and waive their glo-sticks? Do they think we don't know that they have been given the lyrics to "Runnin' Down a Dream" ahead of time so that they can lip-synch? How dumb do they think we are?

It will be a good game - Because Super Bowls usually are, the Giants are playing really good football right now, and the Patriots haven't covered a spread in what seems like ages. The Giants have been playing with a lot of confidence since the week 16 win at Buffalo, and it has carried them through the playoffs.

Don't get me wrong, the Patriots will likely win, but this blogger thinks it will be a close game.

Monday is going to SUCK! - I envy those of you that are unemployable. I don't think there is a less productive day on the American economic calendar than the Monday after the Super Bowl. Everyone gets in late, everyone is hung over, and all anyone does at work is talk about the previous nights game. Would anyone be against making that day an unofficial holiday?