by Matt Loede, Let's Wrestle
As the date for the WWE's biggest annual event gets closer and closer, it's always fun to look back and the good, and the not-so-good, of what makes WrestleMania the biggest event of the year. No other wrestling event in the world is watched, broken down, or comes under as much attention as Mania, which is why the company invests as much time and money as they do into it. Today, instead of the good, I will break down the bad, and give you my WORST 10 all-time WrestleMania Matches of the last 23 years. The matches are in no particluar order, as these truly were all stinkers in my book.
1. WrestleMania II: Adrian Adonis defeats Uncle Elmer - This was to the point where Adonis (Keith Franke), who at one point was a very solid worker and heel, had gone the "Gorgeous George" route, and had also balloned to well over 300 pounds. His character garnered more attention than his skills, and this match with the tubby Elmer (Stan Frazier) was one for the birds. Thankfully for these two now deceased grapplers, this bout only lasted 3:25.
2. WrestleMania IV: Ultimate Warrior defeats Hercules - Neither of these two guys will ever go down as good workers, but this match of muscleheads was tough to watch, as was the entire feud for that matter. Herc was actually the better "wrestler" in the feud, which is not saying much. Warrior was nothing more than a muscle bound goof that never deserved the push that he eventually got, leading to main eventing WM VI. This 4:29 match that saw Warrior win when he lifted his shoulder after a half-nelson suplex is one to fast forward through if you ever watch this Mania in full.
3. WrestleMania V: The Red Rooster defeats Bobby Heenan - Not much needs to be said about this garbage, other than the :32 seconds it took Rooster (Terry Taylor) to win the match was about :30 seconds too long. Add the Brookyln Brawler in for a little post-match attack, and you have all the eyesores you can handle for one day.
4. WrestleMania X: Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon defeated Doink the Clown (Ray Apollo) and Dink in a "Mixed Tag Team match" - Ugly. That's about all you can say about anytime you have a "Mixed Tag," but add the awful clown comedy of Doink and his small mascot - Dink, and this just over six-minute match is one you'll want to forget.
5. WrestleMania XII: Roddy Piper defeated Goldust (w/Marlena) in a "Hollywood Backlot Brawl" - Talk about the dark ages for the WWE. This was supposed to be a parody of the O.J.Simpson car chase, where Piper chased Goldust around and it was shown on the large screen back at the arena. Awful. Needless to say that they kept cutting to this "match", and everytime they did it got worse and worse.
6. WrestleMania VII: Tenryu and Kitao defeated Demolition (Crush and Smash) (w/Mr. Fuji) - To me, Mania is supposed to be about feuds ending or starting, and wrestlers getting their shot at the big time. That's why having two wrestlers on the card that basically no one knew, or never really heard from again in Tenryu and Kitao fight for 4:44 beating an established team like Demolition was one of the bigger head scratchers of the last 23 years of booking of the event.
7. WrestleMania XVI: T & A (Test and Albert) (w/Trish Stratus) defeated Head Cheese (Al Snow and Steve Blackman) (w/Chester McCheeserton) - Ugh. Three of the four wrestlers in this match are downright bad workers, which made this thing ugly to watch from the word go. This Mania was bizarre in the fact where all the matches were tags or six-man matches, and this one may have been the worst of the bunch.
8. WrestleMania XXI: Akebono defeated The Big Show in a Sumo Match - A one-minute match that was very much a gimmick, but also very unnecessary. Again, no real reason to put one of your bigger names in a gimmick match with an unknown and make him lose. Hey wait, isn't that going to probably happen again this year? Hmmm.
9. WrestleMania XXIII: The Great Khali defeated Kane - Some of the booking for last years Mania was a bit odd, but giving Khali, who never in a million years deserved a match, and allowing him to beat Kane, a match was not a good choice. Thankfully the most we'll see of Khali this year is a hopeful quick elimination in the 24-man battle royale.
10. WrestleMania IX: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) defeated Giant Gonzales (w/Harvey Wippleman) by disqualification - While Taker is now undefeated at Mania, this had to be the worst of his Mania wins. First off, Gonzales is just downright awful, and then you had it where Taker actually took a beating from him, only to make a return after the DQ. This one Taker fans won't ever want to relive.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
CHEAP HEAT: THE 10 WORST WRESTLEMANIA MATCHES OF ALL-TIME
Posted at 9:23 AM ET
Similar Topics: bam bam bigelow, Cheap Heat, Kane, let's wrestle, matt Loede, Pro Wrestling, the great khali, The Undertaker, WWE
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3 comment(s):
A good list of all Wrestlemania Matches and cards, but Tenryu is and was a Japanese stud wrestler winning many titles and respect from all wrestlers in Japan and Anerican. He is somebody. He has been the IWGP and Triple Crown winner in Japan - only 1 of 4 wrestlers to do it. Many American wrestlers have held one or the other proudly, like Kurt Angle right now with the IWGP. The WWE didn't build him up as he should have been until later in 93 on Raw, 93 at the Royal Rumble, and 94 at the Royal Rumble. That was their screw up, not his.
Weird match, I know, but he is not unknown. Ben
I am not leaving an e-mail because I don't want to get a bunch of people trying to sell me something on the internet.
Matt--the Tenryu/Kitao match was during the WWF's working agreement with SWS. That was the group Tenryu founded after he left All Japan in 1990. SWS and the WWF worked together until the group's demise in 1992 when their major financial backer pulled out. The WWF co-promoted a couple of big shows at the Tokyo Dome with SWS. The WWF would also send over talent for SWS house shows. I guess the Wrestlemania match was a bone to Tenyru for the working relationship.
I totally agree that it makes no sense to bury Demolition--they were always considered a top team by the fans and since they're presumably not aware of backstage politics it didn't make sense for a team with no (storyline) history with the WWF. My guess is that it was some sort of "exchange" for a couple of the big WWF stars going over in Japan--most notably Hulk Hogan, who pinned Tenyru later that year. Tenyru probably insisted on Demolition since they were pretty well known in Japan.
Of course that's just my guess...who knows how Vince McMahon's mind works?? ; )
Gonzales is just downright awful
I had the bad fortune of seeing Gonzales wrestle live a few times when he was "El Gigante" in WCW. I actually saw him wrestle Ric Flair in a title match once--if you ever doubt Flair's greatness consider that he carried Gonzales to a watchable match. Gonzales/Gigante may be the worst wrestler I've seen in my life. He couldn't sell, his offense looked completely ineffectual and even when he was supposedly pissed off at someone he'd have this dopey grin on his face. Of course Flair sold Gigante's half assed chops like he was getting hit with a lead pipe.
At least WCW era Gigante didn't have that God-awful suit that he wore in the WWF....
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