2008 MLB PREVIEW: A LETTER FROM MARLINS' GM MICHAEL HILL

by Simon, SimonOnSports

Dear Fans,

Alright so I'm going to be straight up with you here. We're not going to be good this season. We just aren't. You know that, I know that, our owner knows that. It's common knowledge, we have absolutely no chance at making the playoffs. Which quite honestly puts no pressure on me which is nice. I just get to sit up in my box and watch a loser, oh and the box is air conditioned so I won't sweat out my bodies entire water supply every game I go to.

Now I guess my duty is to attempt to excite you guys enough to show up to a game or two this season. Honestly that's a pretty tough job. We all know we're not going to make the playoffs. And we all now how f'n hot it gets in our stadium, so well here goes...

We actually spent some money this season. Not a lot of money of course. And we did ship out Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis of course. But we signed some free agents. We signed Luis Gonzalez. He was good once. We signed Mark Hendrickson, he's tall. We signed Dallas McPherson, he was supposed to be good. Jorge Cantu was a big signing, he got cut by the Devil Rays. Alright so we didn't make any free agent splashes, but we did pay some of our other players like Kevin Gregg etc. Put it this way our payroll is at least larger than ARod's contract. Well maybe not, but it's close.

Ok, so honestly the only selling points we have as a team is that we have some good young players. We really do. Hanley might be the best short stop in major league baseball. Jeremy Hermida was pretty good at the end of the season last year. Dan Uggla hits a lot of homers for a second baseman. And Cameron Maybin is like the centerfield version of Dontrelle in his youth. He'll be exuberant and fun the entire season. I know most of you have no idea who any of these guys are, but I promise you they will be very good players for a long time.

Now our pitching staff, which of course is also just out of the cradle. Scott Olsen is a complete douche bag and a drunk. So honestly if you don't like him you're probably right. But he could be good this year. I wish I could say Josh Johnson or Anibal Sanchez were going to be healthy this season but I probably can't. Add Sergio Mitre to the injured list. Alright so the only pitcher you should look forward to seeing is Andrew Miller. He's the big stud lefty we got from the Tigers. He's also a top prospect and could mold into a future ace. Basically you should come to the games he pitches.

Ok so I guess here's the real good news. In 3 years we'll have that new stadium, ignore the fact that you're paying for it, and our team president says than I'll be able to expand the payroll to league average. So that means all the prospects you see this season will probably still be on our team in 2011. So you can tell all of your friends that you saw Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller during their first seasons as a Marlin.

Oh and ACCESS, ACCESS, ACCESS. Because our games aren't sold out, you get more access. If you go to Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park, you think you can buy an upper deck seat and sit on the field level. Nope, you're stuck in your seat. At our games you can sit wherever the hell you want. I probably shouldn't have told you this, as you all will buy the cheapest tickets possible now, but whatever. It's pretty obvious. And with that Access you'll have more of a chance to get autographs from players. So when we play the Mets or Phillies you can get David Wright's or Ryan Howard's autographs a lot easier than at their own stadiums. That's cool right.

You know what, this is like pulling teeth. You know and I know that you're not going to show up. I certainly know I wasn't given the freedom to sign actually talented free agents. And while some clowns like this guy liked our dealing away Cabrera and Willis, we all know that will just lessen our attendance even more. So I'm just going to not care at all about this season. Maybe I won't even go to the games. It really doesn't matter.

Your Underpaid with Little Power GM,
Michael Hill