Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: DEAR TYLER HANSBROUGH


by , SimonOnSports

Dear Tyler,

I love you. I said it. I love you. So much I do I just want to make babies with you. Beautiful Hansbrough babies. Why do I love you let me count the ways:

1. ACC - If we had babies we could name them ACC or Duke or UNC or Tar or Heel or Powder Blue. Anything about the ACC, it just makes me hot and bother baby. With a Capital B.

2. The Way You Go After Loose Balls - I'm old baby. I ain't no diaper dandy anymore. I got some wrinkly ole balls. But you go after loose balls better than anyone on the planet. You give me a hard on.

3. You've Grown - You were that diaper dandy. You were so hot than. All American baby. Dipsy Do Dunkaroo. But now. Oh wow. You are everything a college fanatic could ever want.

4. That Phenomenal Fist Pump - After you hit that shot against VaTech and did 7 fist pumps. Wow baby I just wanted to kiss you all over the place. Especially your crotch. All I cold think about is you're a PTP'er. And how could you not be a prime time performer in the bedroom. It would not be possible.

5. Your a Blender Baby - You make everybody around you better. Cause you are so smart. There's no way my performance in the bedroom would go down with you around baby.

6. All Rolls Royce Baby - You know it I know it. You're a White Rolls Royce in perfect white paint with powder blue trim.

7. All Windex Baby - You can windex my ass any time you want baby.

Did I mention that you're sexy baby? So sexy. I don't need no Viagara baby all I need is a picture of Hansbrough and 4 hour erections ensue baby. There's no stopping the Dickie V love train. When Dickie V gets pumped and ready to go he gives the best fellatio baby. Non stop lovin. I deep throat. Just make love to me once Tyler. Just once. Please just give it to me. Hard and long and deep. I need your love.

Please Call Me,
Dickie V

PS. God even your mom is hot. If you won't sleep with me can I sleep with her baby. She's a MILF baby. A PTM'er. Prime Time MILFer. There's no stopping her in the bedroom. She bodies up like nobodies business baby. Dipsy Doo Dunk My Penis in You.

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