FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: AARON RODGERS JUST SHIT HIS PANTS!

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

Life used to be perfect for Aaron Rodgers.

Even the agonizing moments seemed to work out.

On what should have been the biggest day of his life - Draft Day 2005 - he was stuck sitting in the Green Room, his name dropping down the draft board faster than a stripper taking off her gear when Pacman Jones starts to make it rain... not that he still frequents those kinds of establishments, Mr. Commissioner, sir.

But the agony turned to ecstasy when he finally heard his name called.

Pick #24, Green Bay Packers.

Jackpot!

For three years, Aaron Rodgers had the co-easiest job in the business along with Jim Sorgi. Backing up the guys who never miss a game kicks ass! Unfortunately for Sorgi, Rodgers was getting paid a whole lot more to patrol the Packers sidelines with a pen in one hand and a clipboard in the other. From 2005 to two days ago, Aaron Rodgers had the best job in all of sports.

Then came the announcement.

Brett's hangin 'em up. Calling it a career. Heading back to his kin in Kiln. Said so himself today at the press conference.

Somewhere, Aaron Rodgers needs a new pair of pants.

The easiest job in the world just became the worst position in the history of football literally overnight.

How do you replace a legend? Call Brian Griese. Ask him what it was like to be the guy who followed Elway in Denver. No pressure, I'm sure.

What about the streak? Green Bay has spent 16 years watching Brett Favre play every game, regardless of whatever injuries or obstacles were placed in his path. Some people have their doubts about whether Aaron Rodgers can walk and chew up without getting dinged up...

Did we mention Green Bay was actually quite good last year? It's not like this is a team or a fan base who will be okay with a mediocre season. They won the NFC Norris last year and looked like a pretty solid squad on both sides of the ball. Regression is not an option.

Somewhere, Aaron Rodgers is waiting for Brett Favre to pop out from behind a corner and scream, "You Got Punk'd" and burst into laughter. Aaron Rodgers is dying to be the next Kyle Kendrick.

If you're looking for him Brett, he's in the bathroom.

Aaron had a little accident.