IT IS 3:35 P.M. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR COMMUNISTS ARE?

by T, The Angry T

It is time to close up shop communists, phone it in, because the party is over. You gave it a good run, but when Russia went democratic, you knew the end was near. Just give it up, Marx is dead, Lenin is encased in glass, there is no one left to ridicule you when you throw in the towel.

Look at these guys for shit's sake. Even communists don't like communist countries. These communists can't even keep their air clean, unlike the democratic United States, where the air contains no harmful chemicals. (Except these harmful chemicals) Even after a great Cuban triumph on the pitch, these commies still choose to risk their lives to escape Fidel Castro's brother and the poor working conditions associated with the cigar trade.

Its not like a couple rogue players decided to turn in their communist cards. This was seven players on an 18 player team. These are conceivably the countries' happiest citizens, because they get to play sports for a living, and even they want to get the hell away from Cuba. Can you imagine how quickly all the workers in Cuba's prominent sugar industry (wikipedia, learn to love it) would defect given the opportunity?

So Cuba, here is your last chance to come clean and except democracy. Believe me, its fun. You get a President, Senate and House of Representatives and they make decisions on laws. They are influenced completely by whoever is willing to give them money and they will generally vote in against the best interest of the common man. Its a great time for all parties involved, except poor people.

You're welcome for the enlightenment Cuban people, and I expect your new democratic constitution on my desk by Monday.