MCCAIN AND OBAMA PICK UNC TO WIN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT

by T, The Angry T

For months, I have been trying to decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election. Sure, I could go along strictly political lines, but I have absolutely no interest in their political games. Unless one of the candidates is working to put together unions for the people that clean out the cages at the zoo (read: me), none of them are really out to help me. I was thinking about voting on whether candidate was black or white. For instance, LeBron James is black and he is unbelievably good at what he does, so I figured maybe this Obama character would be an equally good president. Then I thought about the great white American basketball players in the NBA, like...ummm...Mike Dunleavy, and it became impossible to decide between the greatness of LeBron and Dunleavy. I knew I would have to find a different way to choose.

Finally I figured it out. I would pick a team to win the NCAA tournament and then I would see if any of the candidates shared my view. That is as good a way as any to decide the leader of the free world. Then, I found this article. Both of front runners picked the same team I did. Even if Hilary Clinton wins the nomination, I couldn't vote for her, and not just because she has boobs. When she was asked who she thought would win, she ducked the question and said that she would have to confer with Bill. Listen Hil, if you can't put the time and effort into making a decision on something this important to America, I can't trust you with all our nuclear missiles and other important issues like zookeeper rights. I have absolutely no way to decide.

I might be forced to go back to the black or white thing and Troy Murphy just might put the whites over the top. Thanks Troy.