MLB SEASON PREVIEW: BOSORK REDANKS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Let me deliver a small message from the rest of North America to the fine fans of both Coke and Pepsi here...

We Hate You. For good reasons.

You invade our ballparks and rub our noses in our second-class citizenship. Your teams sign away our stars, dominate the airwaves and qualify for the playoffs more or less on Opening Day.

In the worst possible year for either of you, you will win over 90 games and lose in the first round of the playoffs. You will never have a moment where you will lose a great young player that you've developed from your farm system, only to watch them reach the full flower of their abilities somewhere else.

You're playing a different game than the rest of us. One where we get to hear how smart and talented your front offices are, while watching you shrug off turd burger contracts like Kei Igawa and Julio Lugo without batting an eye. You get to treat Japan as more or less your own personal supplemental farm system.

The game sucks. If MLB was a real life card game, you'd be alone at the table with each other. If MLB allows this long enough, you will be, playing each other 162 times a year.

No Carnie wanted to write a preview for either of your teams. Including me.

And the only thing -- indeed, the only proof that God loves us more than he loves you -- is that one of you will lose at the end of the year. (Please God, we've been ever so good. Both this year?)

Now that that's out of the way... specific points about The Similar Of Two Evils after the flip.

Boston

Offensively... ManRam and Ortiz are still scary, but if the latter gets hurt again, the fear goes out ot the lineup pretty quickly... Youkilis has yet to play well for a full year, and at his age, just might not have it in him... Mike Lowell after the contract and his age is likely to give back some numbers... Positives include a full year of a more confident Pedroia, a can't get any worse Lugo and Drew, and Ellsbury could be great. They'll need a replacement for Varitek soon, too. Overall prognosis -- They'll be about 90% of what they were in 2007, which will be fine.

Pitching... If Buchholz is anywhere close to what he could be, they could have three of the top 10 starters in the league with me, Dice and Beckett... Schilling being done makes them a little too dependent on Lester and Wakefield being good, but realistically, they're fine for 4 and 5 starters... Bullpen has to make sure they don't overuse Okajima and Papelbon, or if they do, to get them rested again before the playoffs, like last year... Team has plenty of plus arms in the minors, which could make for some good long relief over the year. Overall prognosis -- Slightly better than last year, with the possibility of some overly dramatic Schilling Guttiness late in the year.

Defense... You can get a quick determination of how much a stat tool a Red Sox fan is if they start telling you about Crisp's 2007... They may be better at the corners then they are up the middle... For a guy who induces more winces than any other LF in MLB, ManRam really doesn't hurt his team that much in left, especially at Fenway... Overall prognosis -- Among the best in the league, and the hidden reason why they've been better than the other the past few years.

Prediction: 98-64, first in the AL East.

New York

Offensively... Lots of patient grinders, but they're getting long in the tooth, with the exception of Cabrera and Cano... They're seriously talking about Giambi playing first, so that they can get Matsui and Damon in there... There's no way that Posada gives them what he did in 2007, and A-Rod as well... ARod could lose 20% of his effectiveness and still be the best offensive 3B in the league... Bobby Abreu can't sleep through the first two months again if he'd like to get another large contract. Overall prognosis -- Could give back a lot from last year, but will still score a ton.

Pitching... The sooner that Wang isn't the ace, the better -- he just doesn't have the strikeout numbers for the job, and when they're matching up against another #1, it's not working out for them... Hughes could be Vintage Dwight Gooden, and he still won't equate what Yankee Fan is expecting of him... Pettitte is pitching with the Mitchell Report cloud over him, and he's also 35 with a weak defense -- not exactly a good prescription for fantasy or real-world success... At some point, Joba Chamberlain has to be treated like a pitcher, rather than a hothouse flower... If Mussina wants to get to 300 wins, he needs to get to the NL immediately... The bullpen won't be the train wreck it was last year, but if Rivera misses time, they don't really have someone to take that gig, especially in Yankee Stadium. Prognosis: Should be better than last year, but that's really not that hard.

Defense... Visibly bad, especially when Giambi and Damon are in there... The easiest way to pick a fight with Yankee Fan is to impugn The Captain's range at short, but it's, um, really not good... Matsui looks better, but by the numbers, Rag Arm Damon is the better choice in left... Yankee Fan has also started to notice how Bobby Abreu isn't exactly, umm, diligent or willing to get near the wall... Prognosis: Cano and Cabrera are good, but there are six other players on the field. At some point, they'll start to realize how much the bad defense is costing them.

Prediction: 96-66, second in the AL, wild-card.