THE PROPHET'S TUESDAY TAPOUT: WEARIN' THE 45 EDITION

by The Prophet, ProphetFighting

Welcome back to another edition of The Prophet's Tuesday Tapout. I hope all of you out there in Carny-land were able to check out my masterful round by round coverage of the excellent Manny Pacquiao/Juan Manuel Marquez fight over the weekend. Just a great fight and assuming that whomever you're stealing cable from gets the premium channels one you definitely need to catch when they replay it on HBO this weekend. Even more amazing is the fact that I did the entire round by round with the flu...I woke up about an hour before the fight card started, down some cold medication and went to work. My performance was so inspirational that the owner of this fine website called it "Jordan-esque". No argument here. Since I can't find a good Jordan themed picture to post I'll just put up one of my favorite Christina Ricci pictures....

THE NEWS SUCKS:

No, this isn't some sissyboy lament that all we hear about is bad news. It would be great if there was a place you could go and read about cool stuff like accidents caused by jackknifed semi trucks, chainsaw wielding madmen, killer swarms of vampire bats and other important topics. Unfortunately, the very individuals and organizations that we've charged with keeping us informed on such vital topics of the day aren't doing their job. It's pretty obvious--ask yourself when was the last time you heard any mainstream news outlet give high profile coverage to something of real importance like a rabid raccoon terrorizing a suburban cul-de-sac?

It got to the point last year that I quit following the news at all. I'd been "clean" and news-free for almost six months until this past weekend when that nasty tornado hit the ATL. Since I have friends and family there I figured I should find out what's going on and headed over to CNN.com. I read their coverage and then figured I should check out "other perspectives" on the tornado at MSNBC, FoxNews (the right wing take on the twister for ideological balance), USA TODAY (so I could see a pretty color chart explaining the damage it did) and so forth.

There are some things that you *know* aren't going to end well: Playing strip poker with a bunch of dudes. Wearing a fur coat to a court appearance. Retrieving sports memorabilia at gunpoint. You can add to that list having a weak moment and allowing the mainstream news media to get a hold of your brain. I was sucked in to a vortex of stupidity, gossip and utter pointlessness masquerading as "news" that I'm only now beginning to extricate myself from. I found one story of any importance--about a family brawling in court over a missing toddler--but not surprisingly that came from the local TV news in Las Vegas.

Now it would be kinda cool if the people who comprise the mainstream news media *knew* they were putting one over on mouth breathers in flyover country, but they're actually serious about the tripe they report as "news". For example--the way they reported Natalie Cole's post Grammy admonishment of musician "bad behavior". I'll preface this by saying that Nat is damn talented and her father, Nat King Cole, was a giant among men. Still, the fact that the mainstream news media was able to report Nat's crackback against drug and alcohol addled celebs like Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss with a straight face. To aid and abet in hand wringing over the fact that super models and rock stars aren't the most cleaning living folks in the world demonstrates an appalling lack of irony.

One of today's "news stories" is about P. Diddy aka Diddy aka Sean "Puffy" Combs denying that he and/or his posse was involved in a 1994 robbery/shooting of the late Tupac Shakur, nor did he have a clue about who did do it assuming he or his posse didn't. With the caveat that I did come up bangin' on the mean streets of Bountiful, Utah and represent the Westside lets examine this incident. Here's what Diddy says today:

"The story is a lie," the hip-hop mogul said in a statement Monday. "It is beyond ridiculous and completely false. Neither (the late rapper Notorious B.I.G.) nor I had any knowledge of any attack before, during or after it happened. ... I am shocked that the Los Angeles Times would be so irresponsible as to publish such a baseless and completely untrue story."

Fair enough, and I might be willing to buy it had Diddy and his associates not been BRAGGING ABOUT IT for well over a decade now. This incident gave Didd's late associate the Notorious B.I.G. most of the material for his subsequent recordings. Now I'm not going to suggest that he doesn't have a right to rap about whatever or to fictionalize elements of his life but you think the story would have at least mentioned the fact that Diddy has been bragging and claiming at the very least knowledge, if not out and out credit, for shooting Tupac. Take a look at the lyrics to Biggie's "Who Shot Ya" if you're not familiar with any of this...

This sure doesn't seem to rise to the level of "news" and assuming that it does you'd think the least they could do is cover it with some degree of thoroughness...

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THOUGHTS ON PACQUIAO/MARQUEZ:

As I eluded to above, just a great fight and everything that is right about boxing. A hot crowd with supporters of both men, and two fighters who personify everything that is admirable about professional prizefighters. I've read some accounts that suggest Marquez was "screwed" out of a decision and I sure don't see it that way. While you could definitely make a case that Marquez won the fight, you could easily do the same for Pacquiao as there were at least 6 rounds that could have gone either way. My scorecard ended up split right down the middle, with Pacquiao winning by a point due to his third round knockdown of Marquez. In simpler terms, these guys fought to a standstill but "Pac-Man" wins by a point due to the knockdown. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like a rematch will be in the offing any time soon--Pacquiao has bigger money fights at heavier weights while his ascension will leave Juan Manuel Marquez alone to terrorize the ranks of super featherweights. I'd sure love to see a rematch, but I'll gladly plunk down my money for a PPV any time either of these guys enters the ring.

NOTE TO MIKE TYSON FANS:

Since "Iron Mike" was in attendance at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas last Saturday night it seems like a good opportunity to bring this up.

First of all, I've always liked Mike Tyson. I've been called at points in my life a "Tyson apologist". I always rooted for the guy--I thought he got railroaded on the rape conviction, thought he got screwed over by pretty much everyone in his life post Cus D'Amato/Kevin Rooney, and always hoped that despite all of his setbacks he'd eventually get his shit together and live up to his lofty potential. I've always found him a fascinating enigma--capable of almost inhuman brutality (threatening to sodomize media types at press conference, telling female reporters that he won't consent to interviews unless they 'fornicate' with him) and amazing sensitivity (his well known love of animals, that scene postfight where he's gently rubbing Lennox Lewis' face and later playing his his baby in the dressing room like the best father ever).

Furthermore, on at least one level I have respect for Mike Tyson: you don't roll with the honorific of "undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world" without deserving some respect. When you're walking in the footsteps trod by men named Louis, Marciano, Dempsey and Ali you've definitely earned it.

Still, the bane of my otherwise cushy existence as "The Future of Fightsport Journalism (TM)" is having to put Tyson into historical perspective for a generation that still buys his rap of being "the baddest man on the planet" and hasn't bothered to look at the history of heavyweight boxing prior to "Bonecrusher" Smith and Trevor Berbick. In other words, if I had a dollar for every time I've had to explain to someone that, no, Mike Tyson **wouldn't** have beaten both Joe Louis and Rocky Marciano in their prime on the same night with his right hand tied behind his back or similar conjecture I'd be retired and living in a villa on the Italian coast with a sexy 20-something local girl.

So why do I persist? Primarily because an awareness of this concept is so fundamental to understanding the theology of "the sweet science". That's why I continue to explain over and over again that Tyson would be hard pressed to beat any of the top 10 heavyweights, that Ali *has* experienced that kind of power--Shavers, Frazier, Foreman, Liston, etc.-- and defeated them all (with the exception of the first Frazier fight), and so forth.

Anyway, I'll continue to do it in the future but for all of you Tyson myopics--do me a favor. If you want to write suggesting that Mike Tyson could walk into the ring without training and destroy Fedor Emelianenko and Josh Barnett at the same time under PRIDE rules could you PLEASE wait a month or two? Right now I'm trying to get over the flu, trying to get fightsport deathstar that is THE SAVAGE SCIENCE up and running, trying to get settled into my new digs, so on and so forth. I'll gladly set you on the right path toward fightsport salvation but if you could give me a month or so I'd appreciate it....

MMA WORLD STILL A MESS:

And chaos continues to abound in the world of mixed martial arts. Fedor Emelianenko is once again a free agent after the M-1 group he *had* signed with didn't have pockets as deep as appearances suggested. Sherdog is breaking a story today that there never *was* a contract with M-1, so we'll have to see where that goes. Rumors are now afoot that the UFC's Dana White wants to sign a "one off" deal with Fedor to fight Randy Couture in a move that makes no sense for anyone, let alone the organization he works for. Don't forget that David Stern's favorite owner Mark Cuban also has a contractual interest in Couture and wouldn't be happy if he somehow got cut out of the mix.

Meanwhile, in the ring--a couple of new Japanese promotions debuted and featured a pair of top heavyweights in action. World Victory Road on 3/5/08 featured Josh Barnett winning a hardfought submission victory over judo badass Hidehiko Yoshida. Yoshida's MMA record doesn't look like much at 7-6-1 but keep in mind that he never had a chance to "work his way up" in the sport--since he's a legend in Japan due to his Olympic gold medal status in judo he got thrown into main events versus top fighters from the get-go. His MMA debut was against Don Frye, arguably the toughest SOB in the sport. With the exception of a loss to mediocre but real tall James Thompson his losses have come to a who's who of the sport including Mirko Cro Cop and Wanderlei Silva (twice). Yoshida is a legit legend in judo and no matter who he's fighting he shows up in shape and fights like a crazed and rabid feral pig. The fight against Barnett was no exception--early in round 1 he gets dropped on his head via a Barnett suplex and somehow survives. He proceeded to give a good account of himself and had Barnett in trouble at a few points. Eventually, Barnett's size and strength prevailed and late in the third round Yoshida tapped to a Barnett heel hook. Any time you hear Dana White's line about how there's no political BS in MMA like there is in boxing remember Barnett's name--I'm starting to think that he may be the best heavyweight MMA fighter in the world at the moment. With Fedor's relative inactivity by his own volition of late I'm almost to the point of demoting him and elevating Barnett.

Last Saturday night saw the debut card for DREAM at the Saitama Super Arena. This is the group that many are calling the "rebirth" of PRIDE and they definitely don't do anything to discourage that comparison in how their product is presented. They've got the same elaborate entrances, the same pre-show pageantry and even brought in Lenne Hardt (aka the "crazy English announcer woman") to add her inimitable touch. I haven't watched the card all the way through yet but it featured (along with the first round of their lightweight Grand Prix tournament) the return of once feared Croatian striker Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic. He'd been scheduled to fight since the new group announced their debut show but there was only one problem--they couldn't find an opponent that a) wanted to fight him (a number of fighters passed on the offer), b) his people wanted to fight (the Cro Cop camp nixed K-1 kickboxer Mighy Mo and Korean judoka Yoon Dong-Sik) or c) wasn't bat-shit crazy (Ikuhisa Minowa, who has more nicknames than I care to recount, pulled out after claiming that he was threatened by some yakuza types). Eventually, everyone agreed on Tatsuya Mizuno as an opponent. Mizuno, who's background is in judo, had limited MMA experience (5 or 6 fights in Pancrase depending on who's counting) but has to be given credit for having some balls--he took the fight on four days notice. Most fighters wouldn't agree to fight a prelim bum with such short notice, let alone a guy with Cro Cop's resume. The bad news is that Mizuno *fought* like a guy who'd only been training for 4 days--after the opening bell he essentially faked a few spinning back fists, eating some nasty low kicks to the leg in the process. After about 45 seconds he curled up into a ball on the ground and Cro Cop punched him mercilessly until the ref stopped the fight. Probably the sort of opponent that Cro Cop needed following two straight UFC losses, but one that didn't give him the opportunity to show much.

R.I.P "PLAYBOY" GARY HART:

Not to be confused with that guy who ran for President a few years ago before being busted laying pipe aboard a boat named "The Monkey Business". I'm talking about the legendary pro wrestling manager who terrorized Florida, Georgia and other areas during the 1970's and 1980's. The *REAL* Gary Hart passed away Sunday at the age of 66. While I'd like to report that he died while trying to find some bounty hunters to cripple Dusty Rhodes, he did go out following an autograph appearance at a wrestling reunion show so he did go with his "working boots" on. I'll be talking about him at length in the near future...

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