THE 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF MARCH 16

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

How many myths can HGH generate without packing on some muscle? Yet one more review of the HGH effects on athletic performance, only from Stanford which apparently makes it important. Like the other reviews, this analysis concluded that HGH may show several effects: lowered % body fat, increased number of muscle cells, and provided a number of side effects. However, no studies showed an increase in strength. Although the report found no evidence for effects of HGH on strength measures, the doses of the drug may be quite a bit lower than actually used on the street. Further, HGH may be synergistic with anabolic steroids, thyroid hormone, and insulin. We doubt HGH will be going away soon based on this analysis.

Although not directly related to sports, we note that law enforcement all over the country appears to be playing variations of 'cops on 'roids' Police juicing occurred in Florida, NJ, NY and Michigan. The Feds are now focusing on the problem. Boston and Arizona police say they will put together programs on steroids, and may start testing for the drugs -- and we hope more effect testing than the MLB implements. Roger Clemens may be brought in as a consultant to law enforcement. Or maybe Mike Golic who discussed 'roids on David Letterman. Golic might be an expert, along with the rest of the NFL. Penn State academic steroid expert Charles Yesalis -- on a panel with "Game of Shadows" writers Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams -- startled the room when he said 95% of the NFL uses PEDs.

Apparently it takes balls to juice...billiard balls that is. A major story last week reported that a German billiards champ tested positive for an EPO masking agent. EPO -- the hormone used by cyclists for endurance? In a billiards champion? What next...dope testing at a funeral? That happened too. The 'good guys' (dope testers) went over the line demanding a cyclist submit to a urine dope test as he prepared for his son's funeral. This steroids thing is turning morbid.

Federal agents keep trying to 'consult' with Jose Canseo about the juice. Canseco, putting the finishing touches on his new book 'Vindicated' (out April 1) may soon be 'implicated'.

And implicated this guy was - one of Australia's top sprinters caught importing anabolic steroids into the down-under. Sprinter Nathan Allen, the Stawell Gift winner ( a big deal in Australia) finds himself is big time hot water and 40,000.00 poorer after the cops caught him importing anabolic drugs.

Floyd Landis could use that kind of scratch. Landis, 2007 Tour de France disqualified winner, makes one last stand in the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) in New York. Landis reportedly raised millions for his defense. However the US Anti-Doping Agency uses US taxpayers money to prosecute Landis on behalf of the Tour de France. The USA should receive a statute of Lady Liberty on a bike in gratitude from the French to cleaning up their dirty affairs.

While in New York, Landis might rent a bicycle-for-two to give Roger Clemen's trainer Brian McNamee a lift. McNamee fainted as he drove down a New York street, crashing his car into a bus. News flash: Congress now to investigate trainers fainting before crashing into buses.

One of the major sources of illicit steroids and PEDs went down in a huge bust in Thailand Bodybuilders complained that steroids distribution will be driven underground, if this source of illegal Internet steroids dries up. Huh?

Pro cyclists cannot stay out of the news. Two Euro cyclists Jan Ullrich and Andreas Kloeden seem to be caught in a major blood-doping scandal at a German university hospital. Ullrich retired last year, rather than face the consequences of his drug-cheating.

Former American cycling medalist Tammy Thomas faces a upcoming perjury trial in San Francisco. There is much interest in the BALCO-related trial, because the proceedings may presage the Barry Bonds BALCO-perjury trial scheduled later in the year. Thomas reportedly took so many anabolic steroids, she needed to shave her beard every day. (photos are Thomas before and after 'roids)

And with that link we check out of this week's 'roid report. Stories about the juice will likely get even 'hairier' next week...stay tuned.