Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 CHEAP PUNCHLINES FOR THE FELIX PIE INJURY


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Cubs outfielder Felix Pie (pronounced "Dear God In Heaven, I Think I May Be Sick") missed a few early spring training games with an injury that, well, it rhymes with A Fisted Chesticle. (That's not much better, is it? Oh well. Rolling on...)

10. And if it happens again, he'd be an aunt

9. I knew that Gilbert Arenas prank would lead to grief

8. I'm not saying he's... different... but he's not saying how it happened

7. Who knew any of the Cubs players had the equipment?

6. So much for him stealing any bases for your fantasy league team

5. On the bright side, he's now the front runner in the Tour de France

4. I already saw this on "The Venture Brothers"

3. Scott Hamilton's going to teach him how to land the triple Please, For The Love Of God, Kill Me

2. Heck of an excuse for the decreased testosterone from steroid use

1. John Kruk

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