Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 12 UNWRITTEN RULES OF BASEBALL


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Inspired by this little bit of spring training fundamentals...

12. Veterans who have been on a bunch of different teams can never be, you know, irredeemable douchebags

11. In a bench-clearing brawl, players with the same agents have to pair up to watch each other's back

10. The first rule of Devil Rays Fight Club... is that you do not discuss Devil Rays Fight Club

9. Bunting for a base hit when you are trying to break up a no-hitter or perfect game is worse than loving Hitler or voting for a Democrat

8. If the other team hits your best player with a pitch, you need to throw at their best player, rather than, um, the actual pitcher... because pitchers are gutless wimps

7. Mentioning a no-hitter while it is in progress causes cancer

6. Going hard into second base to break up a double play is only OK if the base runner is a plucky white guy

5. If a hitter charges the mound and the pitcher throws his glove, his teammates get to totally diss the pitcher's choice of footwear, fragrance and accessories

4. When the hitter shows bunt, causing the infielders to charge in, and then swings away, the infielders are allowed to key the hitter's car after the game

3. Any manager that doesn't use a million relievers in the late innings to get an infintesimal platoon advantage is probably a Communist

2. Hitters who stand and watch their home runs make Baby Jebus cry

1. If a team brawls in spring training, no one can point out how they are overcompensating for losing in the playoffs the year before

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