Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 15 SIGNS THAT YOUR MLB TEAM WON'T CONTEND THIS YEAR


by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

15. Dollar dogs, nickel beers and penny methadone

14. They're already listed in last place in the standings, just to get you used to it

13. Play by play and color analysts are breaking out recipes and restaurant recommendations

12. The big story in camp is how Always Hurt Pitcher feels really, really good this time, cross his heart and hope to die

11. The owner is talking about how, gosh darn it all and never mind that pesky revenue sharing and his love for their current residence, they just can't compete without a new stadium

10. The "big" off-season trades and signings were in middle relief and mascotry

9. The manager is talking a lot about manufacturing runs, moving the runners with outs, bunting, and getting hit by pitches

8. The pitching coach is getting more attention than the pitchers, and no one has called him a genius for over a year

7. Pre-season magazines talk openly about which starters will be dealt or put down

6. Ticket prmotions are more -- much more -- about the opposition than the home team, and of the great value in the games lasting much longer

5. More and more fireworks nights,"Business Person's Special" games, and contests to see which fan will pitch the seventh inning

4. Many key veterans are already reporting "injuries", "suspensions" and "arrests"

3. Blog sites for your team are talking more about minor league players, the upcoming draft, reality television, the presidential election and drywall installation

2. The team is talking about how spirited the competition is for the last few slots in the rotation, and how wonderful it is to have so many choices

1. Giveaway nights include bobblehead nights for non-players, totally opaque sunglasses and rebates

1 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

#16: They're the Giants.

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