CALLING YOU OUT! - CBS

by WCT, The Ship of Fools

“Calling You Out!” is a periodic segment where WCT takes people to task for irresponsible journalism, foolhardy activities, or just general douchebaggery. Nothing is sacred, no one is spared, watch your ass mister! You could be next!

Today - CBS: enough already. Please.

Let me preface the following rant with an admission: I love golf. I love to play golf when I can, and watching a championship golf tournament on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon is one of the truly great pleasures of being a sports fan.

That being said, CBS's coverage of The Masters Tournament over the weekend was completely over-the-top. Honestly, is there a more over-dramatized, over-romanticized event on the global sports calendar than The Masters? Every two minutes we hear Jim Nantz (who is a great broadcaster, but romanticizes everything) waxing poetic about the beauty of the golf course, or the majesty of the surroundings, or the enormity of the event itself. The low point was Saturday afternoon when Nantz said, "I hope that all of you viewers are enjoying this truly special day of golf with someone special to you." Suffice it to say that my roommate and I exchanged uncomfortable looks after we heard that.

Is there any other golf tournament that is covered this way? Obviously, no event in other sports receives this type of treatment. No one gushes about the grandeur of the World Series, or pontificates on the dignity associated with the Daytona 500, so why does The Masters get this fawning?

All weekend long we see shots of azaleas in full bloom, and hear soft bird noises (which may or may not have been totally fake. We have been down that road before), and the flowery piano music at every break in the action. And almost everything associated with the Tournament has some sort of moniker to make it seem more regal. I think if I hear one more report about the phenomenon that is "Amen Corner," I'm going to punch a hole in my television.

I realize that The Masters is an important golf tournament, but at the end of the day, it's still just a golf tournament, and Augusta is just a golf course (in the middle of Georgia of all places) and they should be treated as such. Yes, the fairways are green, but so is the grass at Shea Stadium, and Shea is a dump. Yes, the flowers that line the course are pretty, but so are the flowers that they sell at the bodega on 45th street down the block from my apartment, and that bodega is a dump too. I'm not the type of sports fan that gets wrapped up in the type of things that CBS seems to like to highlight in their Masters coverage, and if I am the only one, well, I'm sorry.