DISNEY IS FULL OF PERVERTS

by Tracer Bullet, Staff Writer

If, as I'm, you're the parent of a young girl, you're forced to notice certain aspects of modern life you'd otherwise ignore. And I have noticed Tinkerbell.

I want to put my thumb in Tinkerbell's ass.

I realize that, on the face of it, that sounds like I'm some kind of sick monster who'll molest your wife, your children and your dog. (Hey, he wouldn't hump my leg like that if he didn't want it.)

But I'm telling you, they've tarted her up. She's an inch-high harlot, a tiny temptress, a twinkly femme fatale sent her to make me lust after my daughter's toys.

That come-hither glance, that flirty pout, that big, round ass -- Tinkerbell wants it. She wants it bad. She wants it nasty.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the Disney Store before it closes. There's a plush doll I've had my eye on.