MLB SEASON PREVIEW: THE REST OF THE TEAMS THAT NO ONE CARED ENOUGH ABOUT TO PREVIEW

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Hey, unwanted foster fans of MLB-! It's your old hacky list monkey here to sow some cruelty on your meager hopes. Let's end this!

St. Louis Cardinals

Having won a World Series without very much of a pitching staff or won-loss record, the Redbirds are trying to perform a similar trick this year, otherwise known as "How Much Can Dave Duncan Get Out Of Scotch Tape and Turds." The answer is Not Enough, as 3-4-5 starters Joel Piniero, Braden Looper and Some Guy Who Won't Last Past June will quickly but surely exhaust a thin bullpen.

They'll have a puncher's chance if Albert Pujols puts off surgery with a 1.100 OPS, if Rick Ankiel continues his modern-day Ruth routine, and if the rest of the division continues to treat 85 wins as a dynasty. But let's face it, the Cubs have bought at least 86 wins with their $300 million payroll, and even if they haven't, the Brewers are bound to get a healthy year out of Ben Sheets once every five years. Besides, Jason Isringhausen is due for another injury any minute now...

Prediction: 78-84, also ran in the Central.

Colorado Rockies

After a long time of trying to win the same old way (offense and more offense), the Rocks finally got the hint that defense in a hitters' park was important last year, and they made their pitching staff look good as a result. Unfortunately, most of the good young talent probably isn't very good or very young, so they are not likely to get the same years out of Holliday, Hawpe, or Atkins, and they got way too much out of too many retreads to expect the same magic ride this time around.

The thing that will help, both now and in the future, is that the Rockies finally seem to get it -- they need a very good defense to win in Coors, and that's also something that will (finally) help them be OK on the road. They'll also need Troy Tulowitzki to avoid the sophomore slump, and it would be a big help if Todd Helton decided to hit for power again. Finally, Jeff Francis can't take a step back; as the closest thing this team has had to an ace, he's irreplaceable.

They'll contend all year, but it wouldn't take much for them to be a better team with worse results. I think they are still two starting pitchers away from being very good.

Prediction: 88-74, second in the West, no wild card.

San Diego Padres

The best pitchers park in MLB makes this team look like a bad offense, but don't be fooled -- they really are pretty bad. First baseman Adrian Gonzalez and shortstop Khalil Greene lead a punchless bunch that's still hoping for the return to effeciveness from Brian Giles; they might as well be waiting for a return from Tony Gywnn.

Last year, the Padres fell apart with speed late, and closer Trevor Hoffman blew two games that would have gotten them into the playoffs. This year, they will go as far as Jake Peavy and Chris Young will take them, which, given the offense and a bullpen that could be a little shaky, won't be far enough.

Prediction: 83-79, third in the West, no wild card.