PLAYOFF BEARD: DAY 11

by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field

Paraphrasing Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction -- 14 years later, it still says here that Mark Messier would have made a damn fine Butch Coolidge, but Bruce Willis was OK -- pretty please with sugar on top, finish the first effin' round.

It's kind of a cognitive dissonance/ cabin fever. It's hard to keep coming up with fake insights when the two teams get to Game 6 of the first round and playing each other for the 14th or 15th time in a season, plus it's a weird feeling, sitting outside drinking Strongbow on a summery day and count how many cars have hockey team flags. Hockey is a winter game, it's already shorts and sandals weather, and there's still six more weeks until the damn Stanley Cup gets presented to some team and everyone carries on like they still give a crap.

Other than that, it's the best time of the year. Three series are done; if ours is a just and benevolent God, three more will end today.

Saturday's action

Avalanche 2 Wild 1 (Colorado wins series 4-2): The Avs, especially Jose Theodore, Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic with their combined age of 163, were full marks for the series. They have earned the right to feel lousy after the inevitable four- or five-game defeat they'll likely suffer against either Detroit or San Jose in Round 2.

Another winner is Slovakia's entry in the world hockey championship -- Marion Gaborik is available and he'll be looking to bust out after getting one assist in a six-game series.

Bruins 5 Canadiens 4 (series tied 3-3; Game 7 Monday): It's not time to panic yet. The Canadiens losing was all part of the plan. They didn't want to clinch when some fans couldn't watch due to Passover and folks were going gagga over Mentral Midget Assault coming to the Bell Centre.

Actually, Montreal is in deep water. The Bruins have had more staying power late in games and none of the Habs seem to have the Grapes to bust pretty-skating Phil Kessel in the chops; he's skating as free and easy as Dick Button. The Canadiens' dream ride could end early.

Capitals 3 Flyers 2 (Philadelphia leads series 3-2): Washington got all three on the power play and Philly lost one of their sandpaper guys, Mike Knuble, to a hamstring injury. Game 6 is back in Philly

The finito

Rangers beat Devils, four games to one: Well done, Martin Brodeur, snubbing Sean Avery during the handshake line and making Avery look like a classy character.

Today's dance card

Red Wings at Predators (Detroit leads 3-2): The Predators have done well just to get this far; short of Dan Ellis standing on his head again, the Red Wings advance today. (Now that that's said, watch someone on Nashville no one has ever heard of pop in three goals.)

Detroit and San Jose winning would mean an Avalanche-Red Wings matchup in the second round. What is this, 1997?

Ducks at Stars (Dallas leads 3-2): Probably the most likely series to go to a Game 7, since Anaheim smells blood and Dallas' young defence is a bit geeked.

Sharks at Flames (San Jose leads 3-2): In lieu of actual analysis, let's just link to the Calgary Herald story from the other day when ex-Flame Theo Fleury, universally loathed in Man Jose, confirmed that yes, some Sharks fans did try to send a couple midget hookers to his hotel room one time.

The puck always bounces for the team with the better goalie; that's Evgeni Nabokov of the Sharks, not the Flames' Miikka Kiprusoff.

Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.