PLAYOFF BEARD: SENATORS FANS HEAD FOR THE HILLS

by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field

First things first: It says so, so much about where the NHL is going that it has Lauren Conrad typing a blog for nhl.com, even though she has so, so little to say.

The Hills hottie (all together now, "not sexy!") used to live in Orange County, where the Anaheim Ducks play. She switched to the L.A. Kings. That is all.

Seriously. This is the NHL's big strategy to regain traction in the States? Look, pseudo-celebrities watch our sport! The ironic part is that any guy who oozes such desperation would never get anywhere with a princess such as Ms. Conrad.

Baseball tried this about a decade ago when it was in the dumper after the 1994-95 strike and Fox got involved in national broadcasts. Look, there's Brian Austin Green watching a baseball game! You should watch baseball too.

Meantime, there were games last night, after the jump.

Penguins 4 Senators 0 (Pittsburgh leads 1-0): This was the kind of game that is best summed up by what Ottawa-based friends had on their Facebook pages. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

• "Aaron thinks the Penguins will win in four straight shutouts."
• "Beth thinks if Ottawa's veteran D is so scared of Gary Roberts they might as well scream. At least they'd be showing some emotion."

One game never proves anything, right, but Ottawa had the look of losers, in between failing to even get one good shot on a pair of 5-on-3s and their best defenceman, Wade Redden, getting thrashed in a one-sided fight by Pittsburgh's Ryan Malone. Pittsburgh didn't look like it will lose more than one game in this series -- and Sidney Crosby had a quiet tonight.

Meantime, there's all sorts of crazy rumours (scroll down to the sixth comment) about why the Senators have fallen off a cliff.

Rangers 4 Devils 1 (New York leads 1-0): It could end up being a really early spring for the Devils. C'est la vie.

Avalanche 3 Wild 2, overtime (Colorado leads 1-0): It figures the most nondescript matchup would offer the best game on Day 1; the third period was both riveting and frustrating, since the Wild opened up the throttle for a change. The Avalanche have some snow on the roof, but fire in the furnace, with 39-year-old Joe Sakic scoring the overtime winner. This should be a good, long series.

Flames 3, Sharks 2 (Calgary leads 1-0): The Joe Thornton haters have plenty of ammo this morning. The Sharks captain missed a breakaway chance that would have pulled San Jose within a goal early in the third period. Patrick Marleau, who's also been accused of spitting the bit in the playoffs, also missed a beauty chance. (The Sharks trailed 3-1 until Ryane Clowe scored with 56.1 seconds left; a push for the tying goal came up just short.)

Calgary probably got the bounces -- the first goal was a tip-in. The third goal, from Jarome Iginla, was a spectacular effort, with the captain bulling in from the blueline and jamming the puck past Evgeni Nabokov. Expect San Jose to even up the series on Friday.

Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.