WELCOME TO PHOENIX NORTH, UM... I MEAN TORONTO

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

There is no point in denying that any of this is going to happen. Everything is lining up just right.

While they staved off elimination for one more game with a victory over San Antonio yesterday, the Phoenix Suns aren't going win four straight and advance in the playoffs. Not happening, regardless of how much I love Steve Nash.

Meanwhile, Toronto has lost 11 straight road playoff games heading into Orlando tonight. I have a greater chance of dating one of the Bundchen's (and I don't care which one!) than Toronto does of making it out of the first round.

And then, the fun will begin.

Phoenix owner Robert Sarver and GM Steve Kerr didn't put D'Antoni in the position he currently occupies roaming the Suns sidelines.

Kerr made a move that pretty much kicked D'Antoni's 7 Seconds or Less offense in the junk by bringing in The Big Cactus while sending The Matrix to Miami.

Add a first round exit to the list and that'll be three strikes for the one-time Coach of the Year.

But his stay on the unemployment line won't be long. The man who put him on the NBA sidelines in the first place is sure to call. He's been doing his Phoenix thing north of the border the last couple years and there is potential there.

First, Toronto will have to fire Sam Mitchell. That may happen whether D'Antoni becomes available or not, as Mitchell showed this season that last season was more about a weak East and a bunch of guys having solid years than his coaching acumen.

Should all of this happen - and I believe 100% that it will - Toronto could be a real interesting team next season, recast as Phoenix North. Think about it:

No real center to speak of - check.
Freakishly athletic dude who needs to just use those talents to be pretty damn good - check.
Assist machine with a knack for knocking down the three ball - check.
A couple random big bodies to collect fouls and the occasional rebound - check.
Some assets than can be shipped out without anyone knowing or caring - check.
Phoenix Architect Bryan Colangelo at the helm - check.

Bosh plays the Amare centerpiece position, with Jose Calderon doing his best Steve Nash, Jamario Moon being a strange cross between Shawn Marion and Raja Bell and there is 3/5 of a starting line up.

It took Disco Dirk a couple years to find his footing in the Association, so I'll predict year three is when we see the blossoming of "Charmin Ultra Soft" Andrea Bargnani. Not that Dirk has anything to do with Phoenix, but still.

Mix in Rasho, a returning Jorge Garbajosa, Hump, AP doing his best Grant Hill impersonation and whoever they get for TJ Ford when they trade him this summer and you're set.

Phoenix North. Run and gun in the ACC.

You heard it all here.