DOC RIVERS DEFEATS MIKE BROWN IN BATTLE OF WHO CAN SCREW UP LESS

by HP, Hardwood Paroxysm

Watching the Cavs-Celtics Eastern Conference Semifinal was pretty painful. They were all low scoring affairs that featured disappointing performances from the superstars involved until Game 7. There were few signature moments outside of the "no regard for human life" dunk, and it continued a trend of the Celtics being generally "meh" for these entire playoffs. It also proved beyond a doubt that the big blockbuster trade at the deadline that sent Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak to Cleveland was nothing more than rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

Most importantly, though, it became an epic battle between who would do a worst job at coaching their team, Doc Rivers or Mike Brown.

Bear in mind that these two coaches have always been doubted regarding their acumen being up to snuff. Rivers, especially, was on the hot seat for the better part of two seasons, before Kevin Garnett landed in his lap. Brown is considered a terrific defensive coach, but struggles with offense, and it shows. There was a lot of talk about Rivers having improved though. I mean, after all, he coached the biggest turnaround in NBA history! He's got to be pretty good, right? Wrong.

Throughout this series, Rivers showcased his trademark herk-a-jerk rotation stylings, seemingly arbitrarily inserting and yanking low post defenders with no regard as to how they were performing, foul trouble, or adjusting to the other team. He kept his shooters on short leashes and would have to reinsert the starters for long stretches. That's the real secret to Rivers' success this season. Danny Ainge (read: Kevin McHale) equipped him with a core of superstars so good that he didn't have to adjust his rotation. He didn't have to balance playing time. He just let the starters play until they got tired and had beaten the crap out of the other team, then put in some subs. He gave different stretches to different low post guys, and since none of them possess a complete identity, it worked. Combine that with the talent of the big three and the leadership of Garnett and you've got yourself a turnaround. But in this series, and most importantly, in the next series, Rivers has to be able to allow players to develop a rhythm. He has to find lineups that aren't just the starters that can be effective for more than two minutes at at a time. And he's failed to demonstrate that.

In the back court, Rivers managed the opposite problem. Instead of using a variety of complementary guards to support Garnett and Pierce, he left Ray Allen in as long as possible and threw Rajon Rondo to the wolves repeatedly, even when Rondo was clearly struggling. He also left Sam Cassell in for long stretches, hoping he would suddenly come to save the day like he'd been paid to, even though it was evident he didn't have the legs to handle the Cavs' backcourt. It was like Brown managed to fail on both ends of the spectrum simultaneously. That's impressive. Throw in his mismanagement of timeouts and how he blamed the referees after Game 6 instead of admitting his own failure to get the offense in gear, and you have one awesome crappy coaching job.

In the end, though, Mike Brown's inability to do anything effectively won the day in the "Who's the worse coach" matchup. Brown actually did a semi-reasonable job for the majority of the series, balancing Delonte West with Daniel Gibson when he was healthy, and keeping a light rotation of Zydrunas Ilgauskus, Ben Wallace, and Anderson Varejao. He managed to keep Garnett under wraps, shut down Ray Allen, and exhaust Paul Pierce by running him through about a million and a half screens.

Unfortunately, Brown lacks any sens of imagination or problem solving skills on offense. First, he turned the entire offense into the LeBron show. Why not, right? He's the bes player on the team, the second best player in the league, and he did it to Detroit! Unfortunately, just because something can work, doesn't mean you should do it. The Celtics brought a low post defender to double and made sure anything James did required more work than anything else. Instead of adjusting, having West run point, and having James curl off off-the-ball screens, Brown stuck with the same plan. Give LeBron the ball and everyone get out of the way. You can't stand on the tracks when the train is coming through, but you can go up to it and divert the tracks before it gets started.

Worse though, was the last 7 minutes of Game 7. After Sasha Pavlovic had failed to impress in this series after coming back from injury, Brown left him in the entire fourth quarter. What's worse, is that in a game that actually broke out of the offensive doldrums and featured players hitting shots on both sides, Brown left Ben Wallace in for 9 of the final 12 minutes. Wallace, who was the player constantly abandoned on the defensive end by the Celtics because they know he couldn't score. When LeBron actually found Wallace on the pick and roll, Wallace didn't know what to do, and just pitched it back to LeBron. Brown left him in, not Anderson Varejao, who had played great defense on Garnett in this series and can actually shoot and drive, albeit not well. It was those decisions that ended the Cavaliers' season.

In the end, this was akin to watching two blind walruses trying to hump a derelict jeep. It was ugly to watch and didn't really make any sense. Both coaches failed on so many levels it's startling. The best part? This was the Eastern Conference Semifinals.

Celtics-Cavs. Celtics win, everyone loses.