PLAYOFF BEARD: THIS JUST GOT SUR-FREAKIN'-REAL

by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field

You know those people, whom you might be trying to unknow, who watch claim to have a sixth sense about who's going to get voted off Survivor or fired from The Apprentice, as if that's something that should even be admitted to in polite society?

They can all take a long walk off a short pier.

None of that comes close to holding a candle to picking the overtime goal scorer in the Stanley Cup playoffs. It's a time-honoured Canadian ritual that should be shared with the semi-holy reformers who want to mess with playoff overtime. When a game goes to overtime, you call a friend -- or IM them, if it's getting late -- and pick a goal scorer for each team. Once in a while, one of you is even right.This actually happened last night and it was sur-freakin'-real.

End of the first overtime in the Dallas Stars' eventual four-OT, series-clinching win over the San Jose Sharks that ended at 2:24 a.m. Eastern time, a, "Hey, funboy, I've got Clowe and Modano, who are your picks?" No elaboration necessary -- he had Ryane Clowe scoring if the San Joses won and Mike Modano for the Dallases.

The pick on this end was Mike Grier from the Sharks and Brenden Morrow from the Stars. Lo and behold, about 90 minutes later, there was Morrow, tipping a pass by San Jose's Evgeni Nabokov for the series-winning goal.

Bear in mind, there's a logic to making the pick. You go for someone who's been playing well, or who got dial-911 robbed on a couple primo scoring chances earlier. In this case, Morrow made sense he'd already scored one OT goal in the series, he's the Dallas captain and his linemate, Mike Ribiero, had been buzzing around the net during the first overtime and rang a shot off the post in the final 90 seconds of the period.

So the gauntlet was thrown down. Once you get locked into a marathon game, there's a point of no return. Going to bed while the game means that, sure enough, someone will score the game-winner about five minutes after you nod off to your elaborately constructed dream life. It becomes a challenge to fight off sleep, especially when there's absolutely nothing to channel-surf to during the 15-minute intermissions.

Anyway, here's a half-assed thumbnail sketch of what's in store for the conference finals. (Yes, it is ridiculous that it's May 5, and there's still two rounds of NHL playoffs, the Memorial Cup, Canada's national junior championship, is still 11 days away and the world championship just started this past weekend. Isn't this supposed to be a winter sport?)

Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh: The JV final is about the lesser of two evils -- it's either hop on the Sidney Crosby bandwagon or support the Philadelphia Flyers, who are Evil Incarnate, always (with the shining exceptions of goalie Martin Biron and coach John Stevens).

Rooting for Philly might make sense just because the NHL would love to have Crosby's Penguins in the Stanley Cup final for marketing purposes. The Penguins making the final one year removed from being supposedly headed for Kansas City or Kitchener-Waterloo, Ont., would prove that the NHL is on the way back in the United States. The NHL would rather not have the Flyers, a hack-and-whack, defensive-minded team of no stars playing in the Stanley Cup final.

It would contradict all the propoganda about the new NHL if we end up seeing Philadelphia's Steve Downie and Dallas pest Steve Ott trade kidney punches in the corners in about two weeks' time.

Pittsburgh hasn't been overwhelming in the playoffs and Philly, who beat Washington and Montreal, hasn't faced a team that was physically worth a damn.

Pittsburgh's the choice here. Resistance is futile.

Dallas vs. Detroit: The Red Wings are supposed to be the first team to win a best-of-7 series in 2 1/2 games -- the Stars are supposed to be so outgunned that they'll concede halfway through Game 3, unless Marty Turco plays the way he did last night.

(Do yourself a favour and see if Turco's "bicycle-kick save" on San Jose's Patrick Marleau in overtime last night is on YouTube yet.

The New York Times hockey blog even suggested that in the name of Going Green, just hand the Red Wings the Stanley Cup right now: "... think of all the plane trips, arena power and gasoline the league would conserve if they called a halt to the proceedings."

The Red Wings might get extended to six games, tops.

Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.