TOP 10 ALTERNATE PUNISHMENTS FOR FLOPPING

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Next year, the NBA will institute fines for "clear cases of flopping." But since most NBA playes are (a) exceptionally compensated, and (b) employed by teams that clearly don't mind the flopping, since they more or less have hired them to do it... I'm not thinking a fine is going to really matter. So, with our constant Carnie mission statement to make the world better, dammit, here's some ideas for alternate punishment.

10. Revocation of the mandatory "Get Even" call following bad calls against the player or his team

9. Replacing their primo weed with skunk

8. Web cams that can't be turned off, installed in hotel rooms for spouses

7. Have to borrow money from Charles Oakley

6. Deportation to home country, since this seems to be a very European and South American problem

5. Special frilly "skort" uniform for repeat offenders

4. Required to play next game while wearing a bike helmet and a pillow tied to the ass

3. Any sneaker endorsements forcibly replaced with athletic flip-flops

2. Technical fouls, since flopping is, um, unsportsmanlike

1. Mandatory MRIs and full physicals after each and every flop, since we don't want to run the risk of concussion for these poor clumsy souls