Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: FIVE THINGS GILBERT ARENAS WILL BE DOING IN FREE AGENCY

FIVE THINGS GILBERT ARENAS WILL BE DOING IN FREE AGENCY

by Jarrett Carter, Stet Sports Blog

If you hadn't heard, Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has officially opted out of his contract. Since he is representing himself in negotiations, he'll have plenty of free time between now and when the Wizards make their first offer.

Here's five things he'll probably be doing in the meantime.

5. Hammering out an endorsement deal with Bungie Studios. Gilbert Arenas makes no bones about his love for the Halo series. Can't you just envision Arenas being the first athlete to have his likeness in a non-sports video game?

4. Improving GilbertArenas.com. The bobblehead Gil and his doctor were cute for a while, and the pictures in the back are a nice distraction, but we want more. A blog that's uncensored by the league. Secret contests to win new kicks. We're greedy Gil. Can't you see that?

3. Blowing up random blogs. One of the crowning achievements of my blogging career was Gil linking to my site to shoot down the Mya rumors. 12 hours, 800,000 hits and a whole lotta bandwith later, I still can't repay the brother. If Gil mentions you, prepare for celebration and obliteration.

2. Antagonizing Nick Young. Gilbert has shot The City with paint balls, induced Washington D.C. to refer to him as Bean Burrito, and stolen his car. This summer should be all about dreaming up ways to torture Nick Young.

1. Badmouthing USA Basketball. It's a travesty Arenas is not on that team, but it all worked out for the better. Arenas injured his knee and wouldn't have been able to play anyway, which leaves more room for him to criticize how Mike Krzyzewski didn't know he was going to get injured.

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