MANUFACTURED JOY - MIAMI DOLPHINS

by Zac, Throwing Into Traffic

Manufactured Joy is a new series in which we'll be going through the NFL team by team, from the bottom to the top, and giving fans five good reasons why they should be excited to watch their team in action this season. First up, the Miami Dolphins.

1. Jason Taylor is cool with playing football until his dance career blossoms!

It took a couple of weeks, but it looks like the Miami front office finally decided that playing nice with it’s best player is the right call for a team in desperate need of his veteran leadership. Sure, he made some weird power plays and has made a stinkface about the team this offseason; the fact of the matter is that last year, in a BAD year with little to no help from the rest of the front seven, Taylor racked up 11 sacks, good for 13th in the league (and amidst competition with much more backup). Whether or not they eventually trade him, giving him away for nothing would have been the wrong play.

2. Not just one QB of the future, but TWO!

Yeah, so maybe this is an overstatement. Still, there had to have been something the team liked about second year QB John Beck for them to pass up a shot at Brady Quinn, and for what it’s worth I don’t think last year’s use of him as a sacrificial lamb was a particularly fair showing. Meanwhile, waiting in the wings is rookie QB Chad Henne, who somehow looks like he weighs a little more every time I see him on camera. Is he slowly letting loose his girdles one by one every time the press turns away? In any case, the end result here appears to be that the Fins will have two young arms that they believe in competing for the same job. Call it an embarrassment of riches, or call it a straight up embarrassment, but at least there are two whole levels to dig through before anyone starts talking about Josh McCown. Focus on the positive, people.

3. Bill Parcells is on the job!

I like Bill Parcells as a personnel man, particularly when you consider his ability to build a defense. That said, this was really just an excuse for this photo…


Has there ever been a worse endorsement for an athletic product? Just look at the still capture on those flab rolls in motion! I don’t know what the hell Gatorade Tiger is, but I’m pretty sure Tiger Woods has a defamation suit worth damages of twelventy billion dollars on this image alone.

4. Jake Long was the right pick at #1!

DE Chris Long is probably going to be a good defensive end, and Matt Ryan could turn out to be a great QB, but neither of those two were the sure thing that Jake Long is going to turn out to be at left tackle. At 6’7”, 315 pounds, long has the ideal size for the position and the incredible athletic skill to go along with it. Though pass blocking will be tweaked, it is for pretty much every rookie o-lineman, and people already say he’s coming in as a better run blocker than OT Joe Thomas (last year’s stud tackle and a large part of the Browns’ resurgence) was when he entered the league. Oh, and after an entire college career, Long only picked up TWO penalties, so he brings the kind of consistent intelligence you have to like on your line’s most important position.

5. Ricky Williams is back (seriously guys…come on…I mean it…)!

Everybody take a deep breath and acknowledge that at the very least, the following is true: The question is not whether or not Ricky Williams is a great football player, but whether Ricky Williams wants to play football. Check the numbers: In 2005, working the kind of platoon duty he’ll see with Ronnie Brown this year, Williams averaged 4.4 yards a carry. In fact, he’s had yet to average under 3.5 yards in any season where he’s played for more than one game, and he’s rushed for at least 1000 yards in ever season where he’s been a feature back aside from his rookie campaign. Sure, he’s a 31 year old at a younger man’s position, but bear in mind that he’s had a lot of time to rest, and therefore probably has more miles left in the tank than most backs his age, particularly when he’s splitting time. In the end, on a team with the kind of pass offense Miami has (I DARE you to name more than one receiver), and a star running back who’s had trouble with injuries recently, Williams is going to be a major factor in whether or not the Fins can make anything happen on the scoreboard.