TOP 10 AIR-TIGHT, DEAD SOLID CERTAIN PREDICTIONS FOR THE NBA FINALS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. At some point, you will wonder if the referees are "pulling a Donaghy" to ensure a longer, more advertising lucrative series

9. Some talking head will expound on the importance of "closing out quarters" without any shred of statistical evidence that those minutes are more important than any other

8. Kobe Bryant, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen or Pau Gasol will get their third or fourth foul, which will lead to very concerned noises from the announcing team, like a superstar has ever fouled out of an NBA playoff game

7. There will be many of those never tiresome "Gosh, Celebrities and Athletes From Other Sports Go To These Games And Sit In Remarkably Better Seats Than Everyone Else" montages

6. The telecast will show you just enough cheerleader footage to let you know they are there, but not enough to work up a good wank (that is what they are there for, right?)

5. A color analyst will praise a coach for taking a timeout, as if this was a spectacular stratagem, evidence of genius, or act that has more than a 0.01% chance of actually impacting the outcome of the game

4. There will be enough '60s and '80s footage to convince you that nothing of importance has happened in the Association since the last time these teams met in the Finals, and that the Association only has fans of these teams

3. Regardless of the quality of play and score, all on-air analysis will celebrate how great of a game it was

2. No one with an on-camera microphone will mention the impact of extra commercials

1. A flagrant foul will be called on a play where a large player fouls a small player, where the same foul against a large player won't be called