Epic Carnival: TOP 10 STONE COLD LOCK PREDICTIONS FOR THIS WEEK'S NBA DRAFT

Monday, June 23, 2008

TOP 10 STONE COLD LOCK PREDICTIONS FOR THIS WEEK'S NBA DRAFT

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. No one will look like a bigger retard than last year's Yannick Noah Experience

9. Some team will draft an utterly unknown guy from China or Europe who is absolutely, positively, the second coming of Dirk Nowitzki or Yao Ming (rather than, say, the hundreds of guys who weren't them)

8. No matter who the Bulls take at number one, they'll regret passing on the other

7. The New York media will be outraged by Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni not doing enough to fix everything immediately, the way Isiah did

6. Dedicated fans will hear at least thirty trade rumors for every actual trade

5. Casual fans will hear at least thirty more replays of the latest Shaq slapfight battle rap than actual NBA news



4. Your mock draft should and will be mocked

3. Many analysts will use homoerotic terms to describe the ability to run, jump and defend

2. 90% of the bad teams that improved themselves dramatically will have a remarkably similar opportunity to do so again next year

1. Knicks Fans will react like they are at a Jerry Springer taping, because their lives are, more or less, Jerry Springer tapings

2 comment(s):

Jesse said...

Hahaha, I loved number 3.

The Truth said...

Bring out the Cheesey Poofs! Stephen Aaaay! Stephen Aaaaay! Where are you're Cheesey Poofs Stephen Aaaay?!!


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