THE (WET) 'ROID REPORT FOR THE WEEK OF JUNE 8

by Gary Gaffney, MD, Steroid Nation

The flood waters rolled in to the Midwest as we at the Steroid Nation struggled to beat these rapid-moving currents on steroids. Luckily the steroid world slowed down for us as we sandbagged our way past the soaked crises.

Speaking of soaked, you wonder what Bud Selig and Don Fehr soaked the night before their Congressional testimony on steroids in 2005. Chairman Henry Waxman appears a bit miffed at the dynamic duo, thinking they fibbed about steroid testing in the early 2000s. Hell hath no fury like a Congressman on a roid rage.

It didn't take long for Big Brown's trainer Rick Dutrow to put the big bay back on the juice again. One loss and the hoss is back on Winny in the flank again. Who says steroid withdrawal didn't have something to do with the Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner's Belmont swoon?

Baseball slipped out of the roid spotlight for Big Brown, and all his juiced-up track buddies; however baseball is back. Jose Canseco's lawyer filed a lawsuit against the "Juiced" deadbeat. Just in time for Canseco to be named one of the Top 10 Train Wrecks in Sports, by Fox Sports. How is that for 'Vindication'?

Ex-Oriole, and ex-juicer Jay Gibbons sent out a letter to MLB teams asking for something -- anything -- in terms of a tryout. Considering MLB power seems to be down now that baseball tests a little more rigorously for steroids, one would think Gibbons would get someone to inject him into their organization, but no. Damn you Mitchell Report, damn you.

Although not directly related to the juice, we could not help but note that LSU promoted their 5-6 wide receiver Trindon Holliday as the faster football player ever to strap it on. We suggested they read a little about Bullet Bob Hayes, who was both an Olympic Gold Medal winner in the 100M (10 flat), and an All-Pro NFL receiver with the Dallas Cowboys (number 22 above). Hayes is credited with covering 100M faster than any human who lived --a 8.6 split in the Tokyo 4x400 -- naturally.

See you all next week, high and hopefully dry,