Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: BOBBLEHEAD ABSURDITY


by Scott Sargent, Waiting For Next Year

If you're at Progressive Field next Monday evening, you will be the proud new owner of a Jhonny Peralta bobblehead doll. You got it, the .270-hitting shortstop of the Indians, that has about as much range as Manuel Uribe. But the only catch is, I'm not so sure that this thing actually looks like Jhonny Peralta. Coco Crisp? Maybe. Peralta? Not so much.

So, I took it upon myself to check out some of the more absurd bobbleheads around. Whether they look nothing like the person that they are replicating, or have strange characteristics - like, real hair for example - they're making the list. There are countless ones out there, so feel free to help me out after the post. Do enjoy.

Kyle Korver

While it is very apropos to have Korver shooting, perhaps the creators of this guy could have done without the Ken Doll hair? They could have skipped the lipstick as well, since Korver already needs all of the help he can get to shed the whole Ashton Kutcher thing.

I'm actually surprised that the Cavaliers' brass didn't do something similar with Anderson Varejao. Don't count it out for this season.

Dirk Nowitzki

What the hell is that on his face? I'm sure The Diggler was absolutely thrilled to see a bobblehead that depicted him as a rent-for-kids-birthdays circus clown. If it wasn't for the #41 on his jersey, I would truly have to guess "Shawn Bradley" before I'd say Dirk's name.

Oh...that's right. The knee-high shoes should have been the dead giveaway. And again with the lipstick. What's with that?

Kaz Matusi

Matusi is Asian, right? I don't think you need to get all stereotypical with this one and give him a calculator or something, but at least make him look somewhat Asian - I don't think that's too much to ask.

Again, if it wasn't for the jersey name and number, would you be able to guess who this even was? Not I. Add some anal fissures, and we'll talk.

Jeremy Shockey

First, he's in uniform. When's the last time you saw that. Now if it was a bobblehead of Shockey sitting in a suite watching the game, then I'd be more on board.

Second, something's off with the hair. The color maybe? This one is a bit more Dirk Nowitzki than the actual Dirk Nowitzki bobblehead. And is that a mole?

LeBron James

Okay, so he has a headband. That's about all. No tattoos. No facial hair - something he even had in high school. (Yes, I know - because he's not really 23-years old)

I'm scratching my head to try and figure out who this really does look like. Part of me wants to say Eric Snow, but I'm not sold. Feel free to take your guesses in the comments.

6 comment(s):

Tailgating Dave said...

Yeah, and the Shockey doll needs a sleeve of those ridiculous tattoos. In 15 years from now, regret much?

Anonymous said...

LeBron looks like Smush Parker.

Anonymous said...

Nowitzki looks like Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots

Deaner said...

Have you seen the Adam Dunn 1980s bobblehead... he looks like David Letterman?!


tp4508 said...

I have a Manu Ginobili bobblehead from about 2-3 years ago. It looks more like Lance Armstrong with black hair and a tan than Manu.

Anonymous said...

2008 San Francisco Giants bobble of Anti-Mascot Crazy Crab was odd, but cool. Seen here getting set to pinch porn star Jenna Jameson bobble(s)!


Bobble Days Bobble Dayz Bobble Daze

Related Posts with Thumbnails