BRANDON MARSHALL DIALS 911 AGAIN, GOES FOR RECORD

by Rupert, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

First, the tally for 911 calls from Brandon Marshall's home was rumored at a mere six times, but reports are now saying that deputies received a minimum of ten dispatches from the Denver Wide Receiver's abode in the Denver Suburb of Highlands Ranch.

The Rocky Mountain News states that most of the calls were minor incidents, but I decided to do a little digging to see for myself. It turns out, the reporters were telling the truth. Here's a transcription of a recent call from Marshall's home.

Operator: 911, this is the operator. What is your emergency?

Brandon Marshall: Um, hello? Is this Mrs. Walker? Mrs. Walker, is Javon there?

Operator: No Brandon, this is not Javon's house. You called 911 again.

Brandon Marshall: Awww shit man. Why do I keep doin' that? Sorry 'bout that ma'am.

Operator: Brandon, for the last time... You only need to dial "9" plus"1" and then the number when you are making long distance calls from your HOTEL ROOM!

Click. Dooooooooot.