EC AFFLICTION: BANNED LIVE COVERAGE UPDATE #1

by The Prophet, The Savage Science

Damn, you people are lucky. The proprietor of this fine site whom shall remain nameless--lets call him "Doug" called me yesterday and asked if I would cover the Affliction: Banned MMA event with some exclusive EC updates. 'Are you out of your (f-bomb) mind?' I replied 'the six figures I pull down from EC is for a sporadic MMA column only. Do you know what a pain in my ass live updates are?'

Then "Doug" mentioned some photos he had from a bad weekend I experienced a year or so ago in Ensenada involving a donkey and a couple of dwarf prostitutes. At that point, I had no choice to capitulate. I just finished breakfast in my sumptuous hotel suite (see attached picture) and am waiting for the (in)famous SoCal morning clouds to break so I can enjoy some time by the pool before what we fight sport journalists like to call "go time".

There's a lot of people around the area obviously in town for the Affliction show, but there's so many tourists in the area that I won't exactly call it a 'buzz'. There's a big theme park called 'Disneyland' across from my hotel--its so close that I could go up on the roof with a 9-iron and pelt park visitors with golf balls (which, ironically, is what I have planned for later this evening). The unfortunate thing about an attraction like this in such close proximity to my hotel is it draws in a frightening number of mouth breathing, knuckle dragging freaks from 'flyover country' which make me uncomfortable.

The only funny thing that happened is that some 12 year old or so Japanese kid asked me for my autograph. I kind of look like a rock star so maybe he thought I was in Megadeth or something. Of course the fact that I was in an IHOP at 2 AM should have dispelled that notion, but not wanting to disappoint him I signed the IHOP take out menu with a black Sharpie that I carry with me for potential autograph seekers (a trick I picked up from 'The King' Richard Petty). He didn't notice that I signed the paper 'JOSH BARNETT' but he seemed pleased and thanked me in broken English as he walked away.

More updates later today...