Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: I GOT AN IDEA... STAY RETIRED!

I GOT AN IDEA... STAY RETIRED!

by E. Spencer Kyte, Bugs and Cranks

Shocking news out of Green Bay yesterday - Brett Favre doesn't really want to retire after all.

In another mind bender, water is wet.

Who didn't see this coming? Raise your hands.

If your hand isn't up, you haven't paid attention to Brett Favre or professional athletics in general over the past, I dunno, say 10-15 years. Unretiring is the shit. Everybody is doing it, not just athletes.

Jay-Z rocked The Black Album, announced his retirement from the rap game, held a monstrous Farewell Concert at MSG (rent Fade to Black) and was back with Kingdom Come about three minutes later.

Cher has been on her Farewell Tour for 14 years for chrissakes.

As for Favre in particular, you had to know that the guy who has played the most consecutive games at quarterback in the history of the universe wasn't going to just walk away as easily as he did. After all, this is the same guy who played the day after his father died, played while his wife was undergoing cancer treatment and has made every start on the schedule since 19-ought-6. Walking away doesn't happen for guys like Favre.

And that is what worries me about his decision.

Brett Favre is an Icon. Coming back can only diminish his status. Call Michael Jordan, ask him how Washington was. MJ could have left for good after shoving Bryon Russell out of the way and nailing that jumper in Utah, but no... now we have to remember Michael Jordan, Washington Wizard. Shudder.

This isn't Mario Lemieux or Magic Johnson being healthy enough to resume careers that were cut short due to illness or Martina Navratilova still playing Mixed Doubles at Wimbledon every year since her 1994 retirement.

This is Brett Favre prematurely calling it quits, heading back to Kiln and getting that itch. Only problem is that the cure for this fever isn't more cowbell and Green Bay is doing the right thing so far in saying, "nuh-uh" to Favre's release request.

If I'm Green Bay, I don't even trade him, as awful as that may sound to some.

For starters, he's retired or at least he told you he was a bunch of months ago and forced you to move on. Now he wants to play again. Tough. You're retired.

Secondly, what are you going to get for Brett Favre?

No player equals the Gate Value of Brett Favre, especially not in Green Bay and when every other GM knows he wants to play one more year, so why would you surrender anything other than a ham sandwich in return?

And so now here we are. Favre wants to play again. Shocker.

If I'm Green Bay, I keep telling him no dice.

Enjoy retirement Brett.

You made your bed. Time to sleep in it.

6 comment(s):

MoonDog said...

I retired from blogging over the weekend but changed my mind this morning.

DMtShooter said...

I retired from commenting at the start of this comment, then changed my mind.

Tune in later for More About Me, as I try to be just like My Hero, Brett Favre.

But enough about him, and...

MoonDog said...

I'm now seeking my unconditional release from blogging and commenting in an effort to land with a contending blog.

At that time I will decide in three or four months if I want to actually honor my commitment.

The Prophet said...

Jay-Z rocked The Black Album, announced his retirement from the rap game, held a monstrous Farewell Concert at MSG (rent Fade to Black) and was back with Kingdom Come about three minutes later.

Yeah, but 'American Gangster' kicked ass dawg. Another precedent is Dave Mustane, who 'retired' Megadeth in 2004 only to drop the thunderstorm of metal excellence that is 'United Abominations' on a parched and barren musical landscape late last year.

Of course neither Jay-Z nor Mustane had another organization by the balls who'd already made plans to rock without them..er...without Favre. Basically, I agree with it--I expect rock stars and entertainers to be flighty and change their mind about these things. Hell, I think I've seen KISS play a farewell tour about a half dozen times now. But isn't Favre supposed to be a 'character guy'? And what says character like going back on your word, screwing over the team that made you a superstar and trying to land a big buck Clemens-esque contract with a rival?

Still, it won't seem like fall without Favre out there running around like a chicken with his head cut off before throwing into triple coverage....

The Prophet said...

Jay-Z rocked The Black Album, announced his retirement from the rap game, held a monstrous Farewell Concert at MSG (rent Fade to Black) and was back with Kingdom Come about three minutes later.

Also worth noting that Jay-Z totally ripped this off from Sinatra, who 'retired' in 1971 before unretiring in 1973 with the release of 'Ol' Blue Eyes is Back'. I'm surprised that Jay-Z didn't end his set with 'Angel Eyes' like Sinatra did and the line 'excuse me while I disappear...'

E. Spencer Kyte said...

We all knew Jay was coming back - as Prophet says, we expect this of our entertainers.

But Favre had the teary-eyed Press Conference, so you had to think it was official.

Props to Tony Kornheiser for calling this the day of the Press Conference too!


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