INSTEAD OF GUNSLINGER, LET'S CALL HIM GAMBLER

by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field

It figures that it wouldn't be too long before the story of the summer, so-called, Brett Favre's potential return to the NFL, was something you could gamble on.

The folks over at BetUS Sportsbook have to be commended for whipping up all manner of Bretting lines - but having the restraint and decency not to offer up wagers such as, "Will his return make John Madden tear up on air?" (Think of the potential Madden/Peter King parlay!) They also could offered odds on Favre's heir apparent, Aaron Rodgers, going Ryan Leaf on a reporter at some point during the season if he's shunted back to clipboard-carrying duties.

That being said, most of the bases are covered.

It starts out simple -- odds are 10/11 on Favre returning, 10/11 on him not returning. If he's coming back, it's 1/10 that it would be in Green Bay, 5/1 that he signs with another team.

They've also accounted for the element of addng to the torture that the fans of the Packers' rivals in the NFC Norris (NFC North, to those of you who insist on formality) are going through as Favre sits on his lawn tractor in Mississippi talking to Yoric's skull about to play or not to play. (OK, the real story is whether the Packers give him his freedom, but I'm a sucker for pretentious, pretty obvious literary references.)

Guess which teams has the shortest odds on being Favre's potential destination, besides the Packers. That's right. The Minnesota Vikings -- my Minnesota Vikings -- and the Chicago Bears are each 2-1 comers to land No. 4. There's no over/under on how many Packers jerseys would be set aflame if Favre went to either team, however.

Among the longer shots, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are 20-1. It would be longer, but there's a chance that Jon Gruden is fixing to be the NFL's first coach to put six quarterbacks on the field all at once. The Patriots have the longest odds. (What would the odds be of Favre signing with New England and successfully drop-kicking an extra point, the way Doug Flutie did in 2006?)

For those of you who think ol' Brett has a bright future on TV (hey, even Joe Montana got a shot as a studio analyst -- there was even a movie about it, called While You Were Sleeping), ABC/ESPN is the betting-line favourite among the networks, at 1-2. Next up is Fox at 3-1 -- that's what being slathered in Favre-love will do to a network's rep -- and NBC is a more remote 5-1, since the set of Football Night in America is starting to resemble the big dance production in a Bollywood movie.

At the end of the day, there's no getting past the fact smart people have set the line at 2-1 for Favre to pull on the Vikings' sacred purple.

It's irresistible. Favre apparently wants to play, because he's 38 years old (football old, but not real-life old). He doesn't know what to do with the rest of his life. Most of his social circle is in football and they're all off getting ready for training camp. It's the same feeling many of us felt in September the first year after we were out of school. The Packers don't want him. Their hated rival has most of the pieces in place for an outside shot at a run to the Super Bowl, except for a quarterback (In Tarvaris We Trust!).

Of course, the main reason for a Vikings fan to hate the idea of No. 4 wearing purple and gold is what would happen if the Vikes actually got back to the Super Bowl. Daily Norseman, a go-to Vikes blog, pointed this out the other day. In some scenario where Favre joins the Vikings and they go to the big game, the media coverage would be All About Brett. Never mind that it would be similar to John Elway's two championships with the Broncos, where his job was mostly to convert third-and-longs in order to keep Terrell Davis on the field.

It wouldn't be about Adrian Peterson having a 1,800-yard season or Jared Allen setting a single-season sacks record without having a friend on an opposing team take a dive for him in the final week of the season. Granted, Vikings fans are used to life's ironies by now.

Last but not least, Favre-haters also take note -- BetUS' odds on the Packers winning the NFC title and/or the Super Bowl dropped after his retirement announcement. No doubt a lot of you would have figured otherwise.