MANUFACTURED JOY - CHICAGO BEARS

by Zac, Throwing Into Traffic

1. Cedric Benson is a drunk!

While I’m stunned that it happened before Rex Grossman lost his job, the Cedric Benson experiment came to a screeching halt this offseason thanks to Ced’s love of booze, the navigation of motor vehicles, and a combination of the two. Taking his place seem to be the tandem of rookie Matt Forte and former Lion Kevin Jones, a switch which makes sense for a couple of reasons. First, the era of the feature back is slowly coming to an end, so giving the team the chance to establish a young tandem of backs shows smart, forward thinking from a front office that hasn’t been known for that lately. Second, despite what you’ve heard about both him and his former employer, Kevin Jones has been pretty good when healthy. He’s not so far removed from a very solid rookie campaign (1133 yards on 241 carries) that he can’t recapture the magic. Throw in a bolstered offensive line, and positive yardage from the ground game could become a concept not so foreign to long suffering Bears fans.

2. Marty Booker, AAAHHHHHHHH!!!

ARE YOU CATCHING MARTY BOOKER FEVER YET?!? What’s NOT to love about having a number one receiver who embodies the terms “consistent” and “workmanlike”? All kidding aside, Booker is a very good possession receiver, and was a steal in free agency (the Dolphins were stupid to let him go). If the Bears can cultivate even one speedster (and they’re working on it with Devin Hester), there’s no reason to think that Booker won’t give the much maligned quarterback corps a consistent target, which is something its never really had.

3. The single dumbest quarterback competition EVER!

That said, it is inexcusable that the team didn’t at least TRY to pick up a QB this offseason. When Brian Griese is your most consistent signal caller, you’ve gone epically wrong here…AND THE TEAM LET HIM GO FOR THE GUYS BEHIND HIM!?!? Rex Grossman is more panicky, dumb, and inaccurate than 99% of quarterbacks in the game, and Kyle Orton is the guy who couldn’t beat him out for a starter’s job. And Andre Woodson goes to the Giants in the 6th? Really? Watching Rex launch interceptions is cute and all, but wouldn’t having ANYBODY new on the bench have been a good idea?

4. More Devin Hester punt returns!



5. Offensive line excitement!

Ok, so the team didn’t really make anything exciting happen. Still, assuming that you can turn one of these quarterbacks into a competent game manager (something akin to assuming that you can rejigger that whole “gravity” thing), then this team is built to have a pretty good possession offense. They drafted a big receiver, picked up a top-flight possession receiver, have the makings of a young running back tandem, and, most importantly, started fixing their offensive line by picking up rookie tackle Kirk Barton and potential anchor of the line Chris Williams, both of whom could give some much needed protection to a quarterback (and it should be Grossman) who has shown he doesn’t do well with pressure. And if making sure your team is geared toward Rex Grossman’s needs isn’t a reason for fans to watch…well…ok, I give up, sorry, Chicago…